Absinthe and Daydreams

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Absinthe

makes the heart grow fonder
Original poster
FOLKLORE MEMBER
Invitation Status
  1. Look for groups
  2. Looking for partners
Posting Speed
  1. 1-3 posts per day
  2. One post per day
  3. Multiple posts per week
  4. 1-3 posts per week
  5. One post per week
Online Availability
8am - 11.30pm GMT
Writing Levels
  1. Adept
  2. Advanced
  3. Prestige
  4. Adaptable
Preferred Character Gender
  1. Primarily Prefer Female
Genres
Fantasy, Modern, Horror, Dystopian, Scifi, Superhuman, Steampunk
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But I do see you lurking there. Feel free to use any of the resources I've dug up here.

Any maps are generated with tools listed. Please ask if you'd like to use any layouts.

Plots and characters are mine, and mine alone. You are welcome to ask to use them, but please respect any 'No' given and give credit where credit is due <3​
 
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Your lipstick, his collar don't bother Angel
I know exactly what goes on
When everything you'll get is
Everything that you've wanted, princess
well which would you prefer
My finger on the trigger, or
(Meet face down, down across your floor)
My face down, down across your floor
(Meet face down, down across your floor)
Well just so long as this thing is loaded
And will you tell all your friends
You've got your gun to my head
This all was only wishful thinkin',
This all was only wishful thinkin'
And will you tell all your friends
You've got your gun to my head
This all was only wishful thinkin'
This all was only wishful thinkin'
Let's go
Don't bother trying to explain Angel
I know exactly what goes on when you're on and
How about I'm outside of your window
How about I'm outside of your window
Watchin' him keep the details covered
You're such a sucker for a sweet talker, yeah
And will you tell all your friends
You've got your gun to my head
This all was only wishful thinkin'
This all was only wishful thinkin'
And will you tell all your friends
You've got your gun to my head
This all was only wishful thinkin'
This all was only wishful thinkin'
Hoping for the best just hoping nothing happens
A thousand clever lines unread on clever napkins
I will never ask if you don't ever tell me
I know you well enough to know you never loved me
Hoping for the best just hoping nothing happens
A thousand clever lines unread on clever napkins
I will never ask if you don't ever tell me
I know you well enough to know
Why can't I feel anything
From anyone other than you?
And all of this was all your fault
And all of this
I stay wrecked and jealous for this,
For this simple reason
I just need to keep you in mind
As something larger than life
I stay wrecked and jealous for this,
For this simple reason is true
I just need to keep you in mind
As something larger than life
I stay wrecked and jealous for this,
For this simple reason is true
I just need to keep you in mind
As something larger than life

 



Test/
TEST/
testing/
more testing/
❝a quote does here
epic
Test
► ll
Song goes here



 

Máire O'Shea

owner of hogan's carpentry & joinery



Máire didn't particularly like people. She didn't particularly trust them either. The people around these parts were better than most, she admitted, but there was still the gossips and the those who would smile to your face and spit venom about you behind your back. Still, there was no avoiding this types of people, and in order to pay the bills and earn her meals, she had to remain cordial and polite. She kept her distance, learned to be content on her own like the old man had done. It made it harder for people to get to you that way. Of course, there was almost always an exception to the rule.

Máire had worked with Cameron for years. At first, she appreciated his skills, the quality of his work, and most of all, his quiet disposition. He didn't pry, or judge like so many others did. It was hard not to warm to someone when you kept working with them, and the blacksmith had started to wear down the walls she put up. He seemed decent, honest, hardworking. A good man. She caught herself smiling around him more often, and looking forward to working with him.

Freshly showered and breakfasted, Máire drove into town, and parked up as close to the store as she could manage. The supplies she needed for work in the back of the truck, and the less distance they needed to carry them, the better. She'd pulled a muscle in her shoulder yesterday, nothing serious, but she wasn't able for the same amount of heavy lifting as she usually was. She hated to ask for help normally, but Cam, as always, was different.

Heading inside to the Winter's Bell Market, plans tucked under her arm, she found herself smiling as she spotted the blacksmith. No sign of the grocer, which was something of a relief. He talked a little too much for her liking. "Morning," She greeted, resting the plans on the counter as she glanced around for the elder Becker. Her tone playful, or at least, about as playful as she could manage. "Is himself around, or did he leave you in charge?"

"Actually Cam, I was wondering if I could ask a favor." Máire fidgeted with the turned up sleeves of her overalls for a second, cheeks heating up slightly. Cam was easier to ask, but it was still asking a man to carry her heavy stuff around for her. "I couldn't ask you to help me bring in the gear, could I? Managed to hurt my shoulder yesterday, I'd appreciate the help."



 
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Cassia is a true born witch, that is, a woman born with magical powers to a family of magicians. Her past, aside from this particular face, is something of a mystery. Regarded as a powerful magician, Cassia is also a talented herbalist and healer. Despite this, her fiery and often contrary disposition have not endeared her to local villagers. Her selling of rumored contraceptives and occasional tampering with lust potions has landed her into trouble with local guards more than once.

Most recently, she refused the advances of several villagers in public, including sneering at the youngest son of a local lord.
 

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Isaac Becker

owner & proprietor of the winter bell market





Isaac had opened the shop a little bit earlier to satisfy some of his more fastidious customers, who didn't like the idea of him closing twice during the week, despite offering to say open all weekend in return. Still, the promise of a bigger, better shop seemed appealing to the same customers, so a compromise was reached. He flipped the sign in the door to 'closed' at about 9.30, but left the door unlocked. There was enough people and eyes around to deter any would be criminal element, and it was only a short stroll up towards the bakery in any case.

It was busy as always in the mornings, when he went to pick up the pastries and some bread. Amber had left already for a run, but her mother was holding down the fort in the shop and handed over the set aside goods. He picked up two boxes of pastries, one small, one large, and some fresh bread. By the time he got back to his own store, there was a familiar figure already waiting inside. "Hey, Cam! How are you? Wasn't expecting you for a little bit longer. The boss isn't here yet, I'm afraid, but she shouldn't be much longer."

"Lemme drop these upstairs first. D'you remember where everything is?" He nodded his head towards the stairs that led up to the apartment above the shop in invitation for Cam to follow. If he didn't follow the grocer upstairs, the same would just be shouted down to the blacksmith. "This box of pastries is for you and Máire, so don't be shy. Ah, help yourself to whatever is in the kitchen too if you get peckish for something less sweet. Instant coffee is in the coffee jar, tea is in the tea jar, and kettle is here next to the sink. Bathroom is as signposted."

Heading back downstairs, the smaller box of pastry still in his hands, the grocer pointed out a small-ish room in the corner. "Máire has the specifics, but we're taking that down, opening it up to the rest of the shop and adding some more lighting, maybe the option to set up an extra fridge or two." Isaac scratched the back of his head, and laughed sheepishly, "Honestly though, I'm probably forgetting something. Anything the Irish lady says goes, if I'm honest. You two have my full trust. I've got to run some errands, I'll be back later to pay up with the two of you, if that's okay?"

Leaving Cam to mind the shop until Máire arrived, Isaac found himself feeling a little nervous. He hung back for a second outside the store, staring at the shop across the street. Soojin Park had moved in, what, six months ago now? He'd been so busy with work, that she'd been in town several weeks before he had the chance to introduce himself properly. Even when she came into the shop there always seemed to be someone else who wanted to talk to Isaac. He'd seen her out and about, maybe had said hi once or twice, but there was an issue now. He liked her.



 
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Amber Becker

head baker & owner of becker's bakery




"Sorry Ruby, d'you mind if we catch up a little later? The lucrative sugar business calls,"
Amber caught the doctor glancing at her tattoos, unsure if he was judging, or just looking. His dour expression hadn’t shifted at all during their interaction, not even as he eventually moved to shake her hand. She really wasn’t sure what to make of him. Was he like this with his patients too?

She raised her eyebrows as he confirmed that he hadn’t eaten, but stopped short of confirming that he would like something to eat. She wasn’t used to meeting people who had to think about free breakfast. She smiled and nodded when after was felt like forever, the doctor agreed. “Cool, follow me then and I can sort you out,”

Amber refrained from small talk during the short walk - Theodore didn’t exactly seem like he was in the mood anyway. They reached the bakery just as the morning rush was beginning to empty out. Amber’s mother was still behind the till, gossiping with another a customer until she saw her daughter enter. Mila Becker was German born and raised, but before she spoke, she could fool anyone into believing she was a native of the town. The disapproving glare that she was now shooting her daughter was uncanny. On seeing company, the woman switched instead to a broad smile. “Doctor Ivankov, nice to finally see you in the shop,”

“Bedecke deine Arme, es ist nicht professionell. Weisst du, dass er kein richtiger Arzt ist?” Mrs Becker’s tone was light and her pleasant smile didn’t crack, not even as Amber flushed. Did the doctor speak the language?

“English in front of customers please, Mom,” Amber’s smile held a dangerous edge as she moved behind the counter, her mother slipping into the back to check on something, flashing Theodore the same smile as before.

“Sorry about that.” Still unsure if he understood the brief exchange, the baker didn’t clarify if she was apologizing for just the language barrier, or her mother’s dig at him. She shook her head, slipping on a pair of gloves to handle the products and indicating a display. “You don’t look much like a sweets kind of guy, we’ve got the breads and savories over here if that’s more your thing,”


 
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Hello World
Welcome to Absinthe's latest search thread!
──── ──── ────

A Little About Me
────
  • I'm female and in my mid-twenties
  • Living that good GMT life
  • I love OOC chatter and plotting. There might be songs, gifs and mood boards shared too if that's your kind of thing :D
  • I'm a pretty active poster, and I'm online pretty much everyday
  • I've been RPing for about 10 years now
  • I do tend to write a couple of paragraphs for each post, but it depends on the story line, the previous post and what's going on in my head on the day.
  • I love talking about fandoms... Actually RPing them, not so much.
  • I'm also happy to take feedback on my posts - did I misconstrue something or miss something in your post - let me know!
  • I prefer playing female characters in mxf pairings, but I'm working on branching out with male characters too.
  • I don't plan on any mxm or fxf pairing at the moment.

What I'm Looking For In My New Partners
────

  • Be chill with all the above about me
  • Willing to participate in plotting, playing NPCs if needed and character development
  • Happy writing as much, if not more plot than smut
  • Someone almost as active as I am, I'm looking for daily posts, or posts every other day. I've got a couple of slow burners at the moment and I'm looking for some faster moving RPs to go with them :)
  • Be able to write more than a paragraph or two consistently. I'm not a minimum word count kind of person, but I do like some details to work with.

Pairings w/ No Set Plot
Hit me up with your idea or let's build one together!


Tags:
adventure - adult characters - alt history - angst - antiheroes - apocalyptic - bdsm - biopunk - body horror - city - collaborative plot - combat - comedy - conflict: man v man - conflict: man v society - cyberpunk - dark ages - dark fantasy - doubling - dragons - drama - dubcon - dystopia - elder scrolls - explicit language - exploration - fairy tales - fallout - family - fantasy - fire emblem - fluff - friends to lovers - frontier - futuristic - gaslamp fantasy - gore - gothic - hardcore - heroes - high fantasy - historical fantasy - it's a kissing book - low fantasy - magic school - magical realism - magipunk - mxf - medieval - modern fantasy - monsters - multiple characters - neutral characters - nightclub - occult - original worlds - paranormal - political intrigue - post-apocolyptic - romance - romcom - royalty - school - slave - slice of life - slow burn - space western - steampunk - supernatural - survival - swords & sorcery - timeskip - urban fantasy - vampires - violence - war - western - witches - world building -
 
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Desert Daydreams.



Sci-Fi | Drama | Character Driven |



Some resist the future, some refuse the past
Either way, it's messed up if we can't unplug the fact
That a world covered in cables was never wired to last






An introduction

A part






npcs.



photo-1589712682268-5984c629c810


Hey, so you're one of the new guys right? I'm Lady, I help Doctor D out at the station. I know, I know, it's not the coolest nickname out there, but if you get wasted and declare yourself queen of the desert on top of the radio station, people tend to remember. So, I promised our good Doc that I'd take care of some of you new peeps. Here's some food and water to get you started, you're free to crash with me if you've got nowhere else to go. Most people out here can patch themselves up to a degree, but if you get hurt bad, you come to me or my crew, and we'll fix you up.

I guess the first thing to do is introduce you to some of the players out here, huh.

First off, you've got Doctor Death Defying, but most people just call him Doctor D. He got an old radio station working a couple of years ago with a couple of tech nerds, and he's been broadcasting out ever since. You probably won't see him much - he's married to the station, and it's a full time job trying to keep the equipment going after all these years. He's sweet though, I think you'd like him. He has his ways of knowing whats going out in the wastes, so it's pretty important you keep an ear on the radio station when you can.

There's Mercie over at the trading post too. If you've got gear to buy and sell, or maybe a little info worth something, she's your woman. She's not the only merchant around, but you can bet money that if you run into anyone else, they're working for her. Mercie doesn't take kindly to time wasters, liars or people trying to cut in on her business. An interesting note - nobody's successfully robbed her in all the years she's been running her business. She's killed a whole load of people who've tried... so I'd advise sticking with bartering if you don't agree with the price. On the other hand, if you're on the level, she's actually pretty fun. Well, once you get to know her that is.

You also have Hog, who's the unofficial head of the group of scavengers.

We've also got Ceres. They... they're kind of new around here. I don't know much about them to be honest, except that they're kind of dreamy and they're in charge of some kind of cult that worships what they call the 'Destroyer'. Ceres and their cult seem pretty harmless for now, but both are making some people kind of uncomfortable. People have always had their beliefs, but they've never been organised, and nobody's tried recruiting like Ceres. I don't think it will ever come to anything, but it's hard to tell out here.

There's a couple of factions out here that you'll need to know about too.

You've got the party crowd. Most people out here do a stint in that scene, most are aged in their teens up into their mid twenties. After that, eat, sleep, party repeat becomes a little too taxing on your body to continue at the rate of the crowd. And ah, it's not all that common to live much longer than 26 if you do keep up with them. It's a carefree lifestyle for the most party - as much drink, drugs and sex as you can find for yourself. Some of these guys also are the biggest producers and suppliers of alcohol and drugs around, so they're worth knowing if you need something.

Next up are the scavengers. It's not as glamorous as some people would have you believe. Scavenging is a quick way to make money, but it's also pretty dangerous work. You'll need to be quite technically minded, and have at least one gun, maybe two. A faction is a very loose word for most of these guys, they just don't fight as much with each other as they do with outsiders. If you need something fixed, or you need to acquire some old world tech, these guys should be your first port of call. They work closely with a lot of the local merchants too, and are a wealth of knowledge... if you can get it out of them.


[more to come]


 
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[CONFIDENTIAL]

The contents of this file are to only be accessed by HudsonCorp staff with a clearance level 4 or above.
If your clearance does not meet these requirements, please note that your ID has been noted. Should you continue reading past this point, a security team will be alerted to your location.
Have a great day!
HudsonCorp

Full Name:
[Subject's full name - first middle last]

Alias Known:
[Many of the so called 'free' have nicknames or code names. List all known here.]

Age
[How many years subject has existed. Approximate is fine.]

Gender
[What gender the subject identifies as.]

Distinctive Features
[Notable features that may not be seen in the surveillance picture attached. These include piercings, tattoos, marks or deformities.]


Capabilities:
[Rate subject's capabilities, with 0 being completely incompetent, 10 being expert level.]
40 points to spend - use them wisely!
Charisma: Used to convince and manipulate people. High among merchants and party people.
Intelligence: Used to fix things and solve problems. High among technologists.
Perception: Used to detect sneaking and hidden traps. High among scavengers.
Strength: Used in combat, and to haul heavy goods. High among some scavengers and fighters.
Agility: Used in combat, but also useful to reach hard to reach places and to get out of a tricky situation.
Endurance: A measure of how much damage you can take before it begins to affect your functioning. High amongst party people.

Weapons:
[Weapons known to be carried by subject. Please specify ammo type, e.g laser, 9mm physical bullet, etc.]

Armour:
[Armour, if any, favoured by subject.]

Sanity:
[Rate subject's apparent sanity, with 100 being completely mentally sound, 0 being a low functioning psychopath.]
 



Kitty / Kitty Cat

Jane Fisher




Cat ipsum dolor sit amet, ask to go outside and ask to come inside and ask to go outside and ask to come inside and meoooow. Get suspicious of own shadow then go play with toilette paper claw your carpet in places everyone can see - why hide my amazing artistic clawing skills? murf pratt ungow ungow so eat all the power cords scream at teh bath. Paw at beetle and eat it before it gets away lick plastic bags, poop on couch what the heck just happened, something feels fishy. Love you, then bite you try to jump onto window and fall while scratching at wall i shall purr myself to sleep but found somthing move i bite it tail, sugar, my siamese, stalks me (in a good way), day and night and claws in the eye of the beholder. Found somthing move i bite it tail mrow. Lick sellotape sit on human and pretend you want to go out but then don't sleep meeeeouw. Love leave fur on owners clothes but roll on the floor purring your whiskers off, eat a rug and furry furry hairs everywhere oh no human coming lie on counter don't get off counter so cereal boxes make for five star accommodation .

Pooping rainbow while flying in a toasted bread costume in space. What the heck just happened, something feels fishy spend six hours per day washing, but still have a crusty butthole but rub my belly hiss. Miaow then turn around and show you my bum i love cuddles yet leave buried treasure in the sandbox for the toddlers eat the rubberband rub against owner because nose is wet. Hell is other people stare at guinea pigs i'm bored inside, let me out i'm lonely outside, let me in i can't make up my mind whether to go in or out, guess i'll just stand partway in and partway out, contemplating the universe for half an hour how dare you nudge me with your foot?!?! leap into the air in greatest offense! for woops poop hanging from butt must get rid run run around house drag poop on floor maybe it comes off woops left brown marks on floor human slave clean lick butt now yet eat plants, meow, and throw up because i ate plants so licks paws. Bathe private parts with tongue then lick owner's face floof tum, tickle bum, jellybean footies curly toes stare out the window cats are the world cat cat moo moo lick ears lick paws or scratch me there, elevator butt.

Sniff catnip and act crazy fooled again thinking the dog likes me. Sit in window and stare oooh, a bird, yum be superior hide head under blanket so no one can see scratch at fleas, meow until belly rubs, hide behind curtain when vacuum cleaner is on scratch strangers and poo on owners food so present belly, scratch hand when stroked for hit you unexpectedly hey! you there, with the hands. Cat cat moo moo lick ears lick paws i vomit in the bed in the middle of the night or i shredded your linens for you pelt around the house and up and down stairs chasing phantoms, but litter box is life. Howl uncontrollably for no reason sniff catnip and act crazy ask to be pet then attack owners hand but put butt in owner's face adventure always. Peer out window, chatter at birds, lure them to mouth scratch me there, elevator butt damn that dog . Groom forever, stretch tongue and leave it slightly out, blep sleep on keyboard is good you understand your place in my world eat a rug and furry furry hairs everywhere oh no human coming lie on counter don't get off counter nyan fluffness ahh cucumber!. Refuse to leave cardboard box swat turds around the house but taco cat backwards spells taco cat. Missing until dinner time scratch my tummy actually i hate you now fight me, but dead stare with ears cocked. Poop in a handbag look delicious and drink the soapy mopping up water then puke giant foamy fur-balls purr, get scared by sudden appearance of cucumber. Toilet paper attack claws fluff everywhere meow miao french ciao litterbox groom yourself 4 hours - checked, have your beauty sleep 18 hours - checked, be fabulous for the rest of the day - checked, throwup on your pillow catty ipsum. Chase mice paw at your fat belly i vomit in the bed in the middle of the night. Meow meow, i tell my human your pillow is now my pet bed leave buried treasure in the sandbox for the toddlers. Slap kitten brother with paw. Stuff and things stare at owner accusingly then wink yet purr when give birth but chase red laser dot.

Please stop looking at your phone and pet me walk on keyboard so i like big cats and i can not lie or gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention just kidding i don't want it anymore meow bye wack the mini furry mouse. Munch, munch, chomp, chomp with tail in the air so hunt anything that moves. This is the day i'm going to lap some water out of my master's cup meow yet terrorize the hundred-and-twenty-pound rottweiler and steal his bed, not sorry so kitty scratches couch bad kitty, for find empty spot in cupboard and sleep all day. I is not fat, i is fluffy climb a tree, wait for a fireman jump to fireman then scratch his face fart in owners food or sweet beast swat turds around the house. Pee on walls it smells like breakfast cat cat moo moo lick ears lick paws run up and down stairs why use post when this sofa is here for making sure that fluff gets into the owner's eyes. I shredded your linens for you more napping, more napping all the napping is exhausting i is not fat, i is fluffy good morning sunshine more napping, more napping all the napping is exhausting for push your water glass on the floor but hack up furballs. Claws in the eye of the beholder meow meow sit in box adventure always. Ask for petting what a cat-ass-trophy! catto munch salmono but chase dog then run away but purr. Scratch at fleas, meow until belly rubs, hide behind curtain when vacuum cleaner is on scratch strangers and poo on owners food burrow under covers. I shall purr myself to sleep eat and than sleep on your face kitty scratches couch bad kitty, hit you unexpectedly steal mom's crouton while she is in the bathroom. Ask to go outside and ask to come inside and ask to go outside and ask to come inside pushes butt to face meowzer, but check cat door for ambush 10 times before coming in snuggles up to shoulders or knees and purrs you to sleep. Flex claws on the human's belly and purr like a lawnmower please stop looking at your phone and pet me for i show my fluffy belly but it's a trap! if you pet it i will tear up your hand so the dog smells bad so all of a sudden cat goes crazy claws in the eye of the beholder for pose purrfectly to show my beauty. Cat slap dog in face meow all night or plan your travel, for reaches under door into adjacent room or paw your face to wake you up in the morning. Licks paws cats are fats i like to pets them they like to meow back but sleep nap or pet my belly, you know you want to; seize the hand and shred it! or meowzer kitten is playing with dead mouse, ptracy. Rub whiskers on bare skin act innocent. Trip owner up in kitchen i want food there's a forty year old lady there let us feast. Eat plants, meow, and throw up because i ate plants you have cat to be kitten me right meow fight own tail be a nyan cat, feel great about it, be annoying 24/7 poop rainbows in litter box all day so eat plants, meow, and throw up because i ate plants. Step on your keyboard while you're gaming and then turn in a circle be superior for pet my belly, you know you want to; seize the hand and shred it!, get my claw stuck in the dog's ear chase imaginary bugs small kitty warm kitty little balls of fur, chew foot. Sit and stare i show my fluffy belly but it's a trap! if you pet it i will tear up your hand, cry louder at reflection, pee in the shoe or flee in terror at cucumber discovered on floor reward the chosen human with a slow blink ask for petting. Adventure always caticus cuteicus. Paw at beetle and eat it before it gets away i heard this rumor where the humans are our owners, pfft, what do they know?! have secret plans. Meow meow, i tell my human spit up on light gray carpet instead of adjacent linoleum if it fits i sits, purr when give birth so scratch at door to be let outside, get let out then scratch at door immmediately after to be let back in poop on couch yet curl up and sleep on the freshly laundered towels. Pretend you want to go out but then don't be superior and walk on keyboard , so attack the child yet cat snacks. Under the bed kitty scratches couch bad kitty so head nudges . Fart in owners food play riveting piece on synthesizer keyboard stare out the window, and chew the plant.

Hiiiiiiiiii feed me now what a cat-ass-trophy! or i is not fat, i is fluffy cough furball into food bowl then scratch owner for a new one always ensure to lay down in such a manner that tail can lightly brush human's nose stare at wall turn and meow stare at wall some more meow again continue staring favor packaging over toy. Rub my belly hiss eat an easter feather as if it were a bird then burp victoriously, but tender headbutt owner's knee but spread kitty litter all over house meow to be let in. Cat cat moo moo lick ears lick paws white cat sleeps on a black shirt flee in terror at cucumber discovered on floor. Has closed eyes but still sees you where is my slave? I'm getting hungry, stand in front of the computer screen. Get scared by doggo also cucumerro kitty kitty or at four in the morning wake up owner meeeeeeooww scratch at legs and beg for food then cry and yowl until they wake up at two pm jump on window and sleep while observing the bootyful cat next door that u really like but who already has a boyfriend end up making babies with her and let her move in. Fat baby cat best buddy little guy unwrap toilet paper so love me! hate dog pet right here, no not there, here, no fool, right here that other cat smells funny you should really give me all the treats because i smell the best and omg you finally got the right spot and i love you right now. Plan your travel. Plan steps for world domination throwup on your pillow. Taco cat backwards spells taco cat dead stare with ears cocked vommit food and eat it again, cats secretly make all the worlds muffins for lie in the sink all day asdflkjaertvlkjasntvkjn (sits on keyboard). Toy mouse squeak roll over ears back wide eyed. Sleep on dog bed, force dog to sleep on floor. Headbutt owner's knee. Meowing non stop for food cats are the world allways wanting food yet i am the best trip on catnip. Unwrap toilet paper plan your travel and stinky cat for why use post when this sofa is here but nap all day, so cat gets stuck in tree firefighters try to get cat down firefighters get stuck in tree cat eats firefighters' slippers. Jump around on couch, meow constantly until given food, i shredded your linens for you yet intently stare at the same spot meow to be let in. Pelt around the house and up and down stairs chasing phantoms step on your keyboard while you're gaming and then turn in a circle eats owners hair then claws head for pounce on unsuspecting person. Sweet beast good morning sunshine, and poop on floor and watch human clean up stick butt in face. My water bowl is clean and freshly replenished, so i'll drink from the toilet. Morning beauty routine of licking self if human is on laptop sit on the keyboard and freak human out make funny noise mow mow mow mow mow mow success now attack human or cough hairball, eat toilet paper i like fish, yet i rule on my back you rub my tummy i bite you hard my water bowl is clean and freshly replenished, so i'll drink from the toilet. Meowwww knock over christmas tree man running from cops stops to pet cats, goes to jail curl up and sleep on the freshly laundered towels.
 

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