Jorick's Atrocious Assembled Art

[Jorick]

For anyone who hasn't been paying attention, there was a fundraiser held in August of 2018. One of the prizes (and I use the term as sarcastically as possible here) was that anyone who donated $20 or more would get a piece of art made by yours truly. Below you will find my pitch for the prize, originally posted in the fundraiser thread. TL;DR it's gonna be atrocious, so hold on to your butts and get ready for terrible art.

Oh right, I prepared a sales pitch for my fantastical art. *clears throat and pulls out notecards*

Hello Iwaku people. You are being given a marvelous opportunity to donate to support a site you love AND to get a piece of art made by me, Jorick. Some of you may have seen me talk about my utter lack of artistic talent and say that my only good creative skill is writing, but I have been a blind fool. I have spent entire minutes practicing my MS Paint drawing skills (mouse only, tablets and such are for hacks) and I am ready to share my work with the world. What I lack in experience, skill, and taste I make up for in sheer audacity. My art will make you say "oh my god, I can't believe he actually posted that garbage and called it art," but to that I say DAMN RIGHT I DID! For the absolute bargain price of $20 I will draw anything you desire, with the Jorick Tried™ Quality Guarantee: if you aren't satisfied with the work, you'll get a full refund Jorick will shrug and say "whatever, I tried." Act fast, supplies aren't limited but I mean do it anyway so you don't procrastinate and then forget like a dummy and miss out on this probably once in a lifetime chance to get art made by Jorick, the unequivocally best admin ever.

The Rules
All eligible recipients can give their prize to someone else, but the transfer must be stated in this thread.

All requests for art from eligible recipients must be made in this thread.

You can request pretty much anything, but the Jorick Tried™ Quality Guarantee means you won't probably won't might not get quite what you wanted.

Finished pieces will be posted in the thread whenever I feel like it and also added to spoilers at the bottom of this post.

Comments from whoever are welcome in this thread, fill it with shitposts for all I care. 8D



Here's a sample to start, made to show my fellow admins and Diana what kind of "art" I would be offering when we were coming up with fundraiser prize ideas. Enjoy it or be disgusted at your leisure.

Sample

 

[Greenie]

Beautiful *clap*

Seeing I'm eligible for wondrous art, I shall request a version of my current avatar :P Yay October avatar

 

[The Mood is Write]

I would love art of Hanc, the Inspiration Fairy.

He's an angry possum with fairy wings strapped to his back, a star on the top of his wand, and he rides into battle on the back of a pig to defeat writer's block and devour the earlobes of people who should be writing but are not.

Pig optional.

 

[Pahn]

Valindra being a dork with schoolgirl feels 8D do it

 

[Nemopedia]

Give me your best interpretation of Clown Fiesta. 8D

 

[Aero Blue]

A picture of jorick at his computer typing up the opening post of his hunter x hunter roleplay

 

[RJS]

Could I have a picture of you haunting Diana in her nightmares? (clowns optional)

 

[Iceydaze]

I'll ask for something simple.

A dragon in a cup please.

All dragons should be in cups.

No matter how horrible it is, I'll probably use it as an avatar for awhile.

 

[Jorick]

First two requests done!

Beautiful *clap*

Seeing I'm eligible for wondrous art, I shall request a version of my current avatar :P Yay October avatar

I did a version where it looks exactly the same as your current avatar except drawn by a small child with poor motor skills. 8D

I would love art of Hanc, the Inspiration Fairy.

He's an angry possum with fairy wings strapped to his back, a star on the top of his wand, and he rides into battle on the back of a pig to defeat writer's block and devour the earlobes of people who should be writing but are not.

Pig optional.

Pig is not optional, shush. Also I had to look up wtf a possum looks like because all I could think of was raccoons, so I added some shitty detail instead of just making him a grey blob. Also also don't pay attention to the fact that the wings look like barf, those are sparkles n shit, I swear.

 

[Greenie]

Absolutely fantastic, 10/10

*saves*

 

[The Mood is Write]

Pig is not optional, shush. Also I had to look up wtf a possum looks like because all I could think of was raccoons, so I added some shitty detail instead of just making him a grey blob. Also also don't pay attention to the fact that the wings look like barf, those are sparkles n shit, I swear.

Glorious. I'm printing and framing this.

 

[Aero Blue]

that was actually so much better than what was apparently promised

jorick should play skribbl.io with the iwaku peons

 

[Jorick]

that was actually so much better than what was apparently promised

jorick should play skribbl.io with the iwaku peons

no

 

[Tarieles]

so beautiful, 10/10

I'd like a hermit crab on a beach.

That is all.

 

[Rae]

Can I get a beautiful MS painting of a dragon??

 

[Spectre of the Fade]

I'm so very glad I have this opportunity. A piece of this beautiful art for myself? What a dream come true. I want you to know: This work of art is going to be my Discord profile pic, and I'm so excited to see what wonder you create.

I request a cat! A purple cat. Galaxy coloring optional.

 

[Mobley Eats]

Disgusting art is what you pay thousands of dollars for at Exhibit Opening Nights while getting drunk on the free red wine and saving absolutely none of the fancy finger foods.

Thus, I'm eager for some good ole mind-blowing Jorick artwork.

I request a drawing of my favorite animal in the cruel world, a kangaroo. But he's buff, like he was raised in the Bronx strong. And he has a speech bubble which says, "Cashme outback. How bout dat." This majestic creature may or may not wear shades; it is entirely up to you and your creative interpretation.

-Stay gucci

 

[rissa]

pic of u destroying the gallery pls

 

[Yuuki_Tatsunohi]

I want a fully colored drawing of a magical girl

 

[Doctor Jax]

Okay. Here it is. What I want.

I want... an ent playing soccer with Bob Marley, both of whom are on a volcano that is exploding.