- Posting Speed
- 1-3 posts per week
- One post per week
- Slow As Molasses
- Online Availability
- Anytime, I have no life.
- Writing Levels
- Adept
- Advanced
- Douche
- Adaptable
- Preferred Character Gender
- Male
- Nonbinary
- Transgender
- Primarily Prefer Male
- Genres
- Fantasy, romance, slice of life, anti-hero stories, "you're our only hope", fandom non-canons, soft scifi, transhumanism, magical girls, horror, suspense / mystery, detective noir, fractured fairytales
Welcome to the second part of PIPS!
In this thread, we encourage you to read the entries and answer the discussion questions provided. Feedback and commentary are of course welcome, but remember this was meant to be fun and light. We're here to discuss the themes of the submissions, not to nitpick how they were written :) Please remain polite and if you do provide criticism, make sure it's constructive.
First of all, thank you to everyone who participated! I received a handful of submissions and they were all quite fun! We're definitely going to be back again in 2019!
Some of the submissions are anonymous -- please respect this request by the writer and do not try to pin it on someone, even if you recognize their writing. There are no winners, but every entry will be featured in a pinned Showcasing thread, along with their entry!
A live reading might happen at the end of the month, more information will be posted if I can make it! As always, those who submitted poems are welcome to read their own poem out loud.
The themes for September's PIPS were:
► New beginnings
► Fear of failure
► Power of silence
► Disillusionment
► Unselfishness
At least one theme encouraged to be used.
-
In the following tabs you will have the discussion questions, which I highly suggest using! :) You are also free to simply comment on the submissions and say how you feel about them or how they made you feel.
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- Do you feel the themes selected for the poem were identifiable in the submission? If more than one theme, did a theme feel like it was the main one?
- If a title was provided, did it mean anything in regards to the rest of the poem?
- In your own words, what do you think the poem meant?
- Are there any symbols? If so, what did they mean? Do you think they were universal symbols or did they arise from the context of the poem?
- Did the poem provide an image? If so, what kind of image?
- Do you feel the form (poetic form, rhyme scheme, line arrangement, etc) influenced how you interpreted the poem? Were they important elements?
- What was the tone used? Did any words reveal the tone? Is it consistent, or does it change along the way?
- What heavily connotative words were used? Did you feel any words had unusual or special meanings? If any words or phrases were repeated, why do you think that is?
- Did you feel like you understood the meaning behind the poem? Were the writer's intentions clear or ambiguous?
- If you were to read this poem out loud, how would you go about it? In terms of tone, rhythm, etc.
- What parts of the poem interested or puzzled you the most?
- Do you feel the themes selected for the poem were identifiable in the submission? If more than one theme, did a theme feel like it was the main one?
-
- Number/letter grades are highly discouraged as they tend to be arbitrary and to vary widely in interpretation. This applies to any form of comparative grading. It is better to use the discussion points from the previous tab for each entry based on its individual merit rather than assigning a grade.
- Some entries were requested to be anonymous, please respect the writer's decision.
- Discussions are encouraged to happen between September 21 and September 30, but if you wish to keep talking about the entries once the event is over, the thread should remain available for a few weeks.
Have fun and even if you didn't submit a poem, everyone is encouraged to talk about the entries! :)
Submissions
By: @RJS
Themes: Fear of Failure, New Beginnings
Poetic Form: Paradelle
I find myself a verse to write
I find myself averse to write
Inside I know I need to try
Inside I know I need to try
A verse to try myself I know
Averse to write, I need to know.
And yet I fear the words you hear
And yet I fear the words you hear
Not good enough, I am so sure
Not good enough, I am so sure
I fear, not good enough, and so
Words you hear? Good? Not so.
I fight against my mind, I find
I fight against my mind, I find
A worthy form to face as foe
A worthy form to face as foe
I find a worthy face, I fight
A foe as worthy as my mind.
And so I face my fear, my foe
My worthy mind against my fear
Averse to try, A verse to write
A worthy foe I need to fight
Against my mind, the words you hear
Good? Not good? I need not fear.
Themes: Fear of Failure, New Beginnings
Poetic Form: Paradelle
I find myself a verse to write
I find myself averse to write
Inside I know I need to try
Inside I know I need to try
A verse to try myself I know
Averse to write, I need to know.
And yet I fear the words you hear
And yet I fear the words you hear
Not good enough, I am so sure
Not good enough, I am so sure
I fear, not good enough, and so
Words you hear? Good? Not so.
I fight against my mind, I find
I fight against my mind, I find
A worthy form to face as foe
A worthy form to face as foe
I find a worthy face, I fight
A foe as worthy as my mind.
And so I face my fear, my foe
My worthy mind against my fear
Averse to try, A verse to write
A worthy foe I need to fight
Against my mind, the words you hear
Good? Not good? I need not fear.
By: Anonymous
Themes: Power of Silence, Disillusionment
Poetic Form: Diamante
Themes: Power of Silence, Disillusionment
Poetic Form: Diamante
...
Visible, Quiet
Silencing, Feeling, Nothing
Text, Letters, Words, ANGER
Deafening, meaning, EVERYTHING
Tainted, Noisy
"..."
Visible, Quiet
Silencing, Feeling, Nothing
Text, Letters, Words, ANGER
Deafening, meaning, EVERYTHING
Tainted, Noisy
"..."
By: Anonymous
Themes: Fear of failure, New beginnings
I sit alone and stare ahead
Lost in space, far away
I have no words and even dread
To try to think of what to say
I've met these friends so many times
We've bonded over storm and hail
But even now in verse and rhymes
I fear to speak and somehow fail
Were I to speak my mind,
Would they reject me out of hand?
I wish I could leave doubt behind
And not wear silence like a brand
There are no words I know to say,
That will make them wish for me to stay
Perhaps it's time to carry on
And look towards tomorrow's dawn
Themes: Fear of failure, New beginnings
I sit alone and stare ahead
Lost in space, far away
I have no words and even dread
To try to think of what to say
I've met these friends so many times
We've bonded over storm and hail
But even now in verse and rhymes
I fear to speak and somehow fail
Were I to speak my mind,
Would they reject me out of hand?
I wish I could leave doubt behind
And not wear silence like a brand
There are no words I know to say,
That will make them wish for me to stay
Perhaps it's time to carry on
And look towards tomorrow's dawn
By: @Jays
Themes: New Beginnings
The fire starts with a spark, like ignited ember.
The storm ends in a breath, like teardrops, lost in the rain.
My love started like ember, sparked, smouldered, ignited.
My love ended like rain, breathless, tear-filled, lost.
Ember ends with a breath, blown apart, rain-soaked.
Tears started in a spark, stormy, volatile, foundless.
My life ended in a spark, like fireless ember.
My life started with her breath, tearless, found in the rain.
Themes: New Beginnings
The fire starts with a spark, like ignited ember.
The storm ends in a breath, like teardrops, lost in the rain.
My love started like ember, sparked, smouldered, ignited.
My love ended like rain, breathless, tear-filled, lost.
Ember ends with a breath, blown apart, rain-soaked.
Tears started in a spark, stormy, volatile, foundless.
My life ended in a spark, like fireless ember.
My life started with her breath, tearless, found in the rain.
By: @Shizuochan
Themes: Disllusionment
Draped over her bosom,
is her hair, like strands of gossamer.
cascading over complexion fair,
and the indents of her form.
It's the promise, and the promise is all of her.
She is a sick-white, a wraith-white,
spectre-grey, face-bloodless-from-hate-white
and she is phantasmal, fading,
and in the same instant she is brilliant silver;
the waning resplendence of our love abating.
I beg of her.
"Climb me,
and I'll rise with you."
So she does.
She does it so fiercely, that she sucks me in,
oh, the
pleasure-pink
But she does.
She does it so desperately, that she wrings me out,
oh, the
sadness-blue
It's the illusion, and the illusion is all of her,
Her ardor-red turned to feeble-pink,
and that familiar-white, that sickly-white returning,
draped over by strands of gossamer,
Upon her bosom,
Upon my chest,
its weft and weave.
Breathlessly,
what's left of me pushes away
to save us.
But she's come.
And I've come,
and when we come, we crumble like sand,
our last love dissolving through my fingers.
Themes: Disllusionment
Draped over her bosom,
is her hair, like strands of gossamer.
cascading over complexion fair,
and the indents of her form.
It's the promise, and the promise is all of her.
She is a sick-white, a wraith-white,
spectre-grey, face-bloodless-from-hate-white
and she is phantasmal, fading,
and in the same instant she is brilliant silver;
the waning resplendence of our love abating.
I beg of her.
"Climb me,
and I'll rise with you."
So she does.
She does it so fiercely, that she sucks me in,
oh, the
pleasure-pink
But she does.
She does it so desperately, that she wrings me out,
oh, the
sadness-blue
It's the illusion, and the illusion is all of her,
Her ardor-red turned to feeble-pink,
and that familiar-white, that sickly-white returning,
draped over by strands of gossamer,
Upon her bosom,
Upon my chest,
its weft and weave.
Breathlessly,
what's left of me pushes away
to save us.
But she's come.
And I've come,
and when we come, we crumble like sand,
our last love dissolving through my fingers.
By: @Verran
Themes: Fear of Failure
Poetic Form: Free-Verse, AB form
Precarious, I cling
to the Sky-High wall.
Fingers groaning
under duress, I stall.
Breaths, ventilating
preluding my fall.
But before slipping,
I'll make my call.
So I put my name on the test, and begin.
Themes: Fear of Failure
Poetic Form: Free-Verse, AB form
Precarious, I cling
to the Sky-High wall.
Fingers groaning
under duress, I stall.
Breaths, ventilating
preluding my fall.
But before slipping,
I'll make my call.
So I put my name on the test, and begin.
By: @Drama Fraud
Themes: New Beginnings
Poetic Form: Narrative
Where are we going, Mama?
Whose house is this so big and tidy
With ceiling so high and floor so shiny
Filled with things so beautiful
And everything so plentiful?
Can we really live here, Mama?
Every day eating food warm and yummy
To eat all I want to fill my tummy
Is this really my room, Mama?
My bed has never been this fluffy
My pillow has never been this puffy
I love it here, Mama
I really, I really do, Mama
But Mama, can I ask a question?
Why Papa can't go with us?
Papa, can you come back?
I will tidy up my bed every morning
I will study without saying it's boring
I will be a good boy, the best one ever
I will walk quietly like a feather
Papa, why must you leave Mama and me?
Is it because you kick me when I am naughty?
Is it because you slap Mama and call her flirty?
Papa, can you come here and hug me?
I miss your stories and I miss your warm smile
I miss your kisses and I miss your cool style
Papa, I miss you here
Papa, why can't you be here?
Papa, can I kiss you good bye?
Mama says I have a new Papa and I like him too
He looks very cool and likes to pat my shoulders
He can lift tables and really heavy boulders
He likes to sing with Mama playing along
He is strong and and cool and kind and calm
Papa, without you, I only have Mama
Papa, sorry to leaving you for Mama
Papa, me and Mama have a new Papa
Good bye, Papa
Mama says now I can't call you Papa
Themes: New Beginnings
Poetic Form: Narrative
Where are we going, Mama?
Whose house is this so big and tidy
With ceiling so high and floor so shiny
Filled with things so beautiful
And everything so plentiful?
Can we really live here, Mama?
Every day eating food warm and yummy
To eat all I want to fill my tummy
Is this really my room, Mama?
My bed has never been this fluffy
My pillow has never been this puffy
I love it here, Mama
I really, I really do, Mama
But Mama, can I ask a question?
Why Papa can't go with us?
Papa, can you come back?
I will tidy up my bed every morning
I will study without saying it's boring
I will be a good boy, the best one ever
I will walk quietly like a feather
Papa, why must you leave Mama and me?
Is it because you kick me when I am naughty?
Is it because you slap Mama and call her flirty?
Papa, can you come here and hug me?
I miss your stories and I miss your warm smile
I miss your kisses and I miss your cool style
Papa, I miss you here
Papa, why can't you be here?
Papa, can I kiss you good bye?
Mama says I have a new Papa and I like him too
He looks very cool and likes to pat my shoulders
He can lift tables and really heavy boulders
He likes to sing with Mama playing along
He is strong and and cool and kind and calm
Papa, without you, I only have Mama
Papa, sorry to leaving you for Mama
Papa, me and Mama have a new Papa
Good bye, Papa
Mama says now I can't call you Papa