RANT RANT Your Brains Out #98274

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LunaValentine

A smiling Face
Roleplay Invitations
One on One Roleplays
Posting Speed
Speed of Light, Several Posts a Day
Writing Levels
Beginner, Elementary, Intermediate, Adaptable
Genders You Prefer Playing
Female
Playing Style- Passive or Aggressive
If you come up with the plot, I'm generally going to want you to take the lead. If I write the plot I will take the lead.
Favorite Genres
Fantasy, Romance, scifi, videogame, romance, pretty flexible really
Genre You DON'T Like
Yuri, Yaoi (mostly because I don't care for playing guys)
Why is this one coworker apparently too good to look at module assignments? I don't work on the chunk he wants me to change. I work on stuff that INTERACTS with it. Whatever. I just have to remember that I'm supposed to do every fucking thing in the world.
 

Shiri

Artist in Writer's Clothing
Roleplay Invitations
Not Taking RP Invites at this Time
How is it that people with Internet at their fingertips can't fact check anything?

And my neighbor is annoying as ever. Not the old man, he's fine, it's the chick up the hill. We're doing our best to take care of our dog since she's having a hard time and this chick makes fun of us constantly. I did not go a week with 3-4 hours of sleep per night to listen to her heckling. I'd honestly like to know what she does with her time because she seems to be outside constantly. I was out with my dog at 4 AM and the neighbor was still out there, shining her porch light in my face.
 

King

I read it in the paper so it must be true.
DONATING MEMBER
Roleplay Invitations
Group Roleplays, One on One Roleplays
Posting Speed
A Few Posts A Day, A Few Posts a Week, Slow As Molasses
My Usual Online Time
4PM - 10PM
Writing Levels
Adept, Advanced, Adaptable
Genders You Prefer Playing
Female, Transgender, Primarily Prefer Male
Playing Style- Passive or Aggressive
I can do both.
Favorite Genres
My favourite genre is anything spooky. Horror, paranormal, supernatural and anything weird and unusual. The more obscure it is the better.

I also love sci-fi worlds and creating characters in such worlds. I like space operas and fandoms related to sci-fi.

Romance is always an option for me.

Modern and historical works for me. Placing a plot in 1960-99 always makes it better.
Genre You DON'T Like
Not interested in anything remotely anime related.

I don't really enjoy medieval or fantasy. The most fantasy I'll get is lowkey in slice of life.

Things need to have more than just one starting plot point. I don't enjoy it when things are just focused on the romantic journey of two characters.
how do people cancel plans

i so dont wanna leave the house today but i said id meet a friend,,, so i guess ill just suffer
 

GrunkleLogic

Destroyer of Worlds, Madman of Iwaku
Roleplay Invitations
Private Convo Roleplays
Posting Speed
Several Posts a Day, A Few Posts A Day, One Post a Day, A Few Posts a Week, One Post a Week, Slow As Molasses
Writing Levels
Intermediate, Adept, Advanced, Adaptable
Genders You Prefer Playing
Male, Female, Transgender, Androgynous, Primarily Prefer Male
Playing Style- Passive or Aggressive
Both Depending on Partner and Circumstances
Favorite Genres
Scifi, romance, slice of life, horror, slice of life
Genre You DON'T Like
Cannon, black & white morals
Long rant ahead.


So, I have been extremely sick for the last year and a half and I had no idea why. The doctors struggled to figure it out, but I discovered not a week ago that I have black mold in my room. I have been very weak, tired, and have all the classic symptoms of being ill. So I had to rip the carpet out of my room.

To give you a bit of back story and what my situation is right now, I live in a hoarder's house because nobody in my state rents to someone who only makes $700 something. I'm poor, and I can't live with a roommate so I moved back in with my mother who hates me. She loves me in her own way, but she also has serious issues with me. She's extremely abusive; she got so bad when I was in high school that I was forced to sleep outside with the dog. I lived in a makeshift tent made out of a tent with holes in it, and nearly froze every night.

I lived in hell with her throughout my childhood, she's always had an issue with me. 'It's easier to raise two kids instead of just one' she would constantly tell me. My sister had a good life, but I lived like an animal. Most nights I was afraid to come inside after feeding the chickens, and I'd sleep in the feed shed.

She never listens to me, and lies so often that it's hard to tell what's right and what's not. She's been telling people not to listen to what I say because she thinks that I have 'BPD', as if that somehow invalidates the abuse she puts me through.

I don't have BPD, I have CPTSD, Schizophrenia, Depression, OCD and OCD. But not BPD.

She doesn't want people hearing what she's put me through. I've tried so hard to just ignore it, try to find the happy part of all of this.

I have never been so depressed in my life, and that's saying something. I have lived through a cesspool of abuse in my childhood home, neglect, torture, living in such a parasite filled hellhole that even messy people thought was gross.

I have survived a trafficking house.
Suicide attempts.
Stabbings.
Cancer.
Car accidents.
My father tried to kill me three different times, with a car, gas, and beating. But I survived it.

And even came out with a great sense of humour, and always loving.

My family came into town and you know what I spent my day doing? Cleaning up my dangerously mold filled room alone while they had fun, and then treated like I was a bother. Only to be confronted and told that I was being harsh.

I hate my life. People growing up always had dreams of being firefighters or something but I wasn't dumb enough to think I had a future. And I don't, sure things will get better as they always do but they go back to the same damn thing. Oh I have one, but you know what it is always filled with?

A single moment to breathe and then back to hell again. I feel so god damn broken apart, defeated and like my life is some bad re-run of Cast Away when the guy comes back (sorry, spoilers) from the island. I think if that happened to me, I'd want to stay on the fucking island where at least I know that it was me making my life awful.

And I'm sitting here typing this out, I don't know whether to cry, get mad, or what. I don't really know what to feel other than this numbness. It does hurt, but every part of my life has screamed pain. And I'm not being dramatic here, I've hopped from bad situation to bad situation by just trying to live a peaceful calm life.

I must have fucked up somewhere to deserve all of this. I can't do this dance with people anymore or with myself. I know that my life is going to be as it is.

The damage done to my lungs from the black mold is permanent. The chances of my lungs crapping out on me when I'm 'young' is very high, and you know what? That didn't even get a blink from me. It's like I don't even care about things anymore. I want to, badly, but what can I do? It's like being in a world with people who cannot see you, and the ones that do don't understand.

Maybe I should just go to bed. I'll wake up to some new thing and lose even more. Eventually, there'll be nothing left and then maybe I could have peace.

Sorry you had to listen to this crap, I'm sure it's just me being a bitchy twit.
 

Scripturient

Lover of all unrequited shippings
DONATING MEMBER
Roleplay Invitations
One on One Roleplays
Posting Speed
Speed of Light, Several Posts a Day, A Few Posts A Day, One Post a Day, A Few Posts a Week, One Post a Week, Slow As Molasses
My Usual Online Time
Anytime during the school day
Writing Levels
Advanced, Prestige, Douche, Adaptable
Genders You Prefer Playing
Female, Primarily Prefer Female
Playing Style- Passive or Aggressive
I like being the boss lady, and I am slightly obsessive, so I guess you could call me aggressive.
Favorite Genres
Modern, Futuristic, Paranormal, Fantasy, Medieval, Romance, Horror, pretty much everything.
Genre You DON'T Like
Not the best at sci-fi...Anything related to Twilight, Fifty Shades, and most anime.
My cat is an asshole! I can't believe he broke the damn glass on my pen and we were just as the god damn store yesterday getting new coils for it. I should just steal my husband's since he complains his burns his lips and hits too hard. I honestly have no fucking clue what he's talking about. Mine hits a lot harder than his does and it sure as hell doesn't burn my lips. But shit...I have to go fucking out! I wanted to enjoy my time off until I have to go to work tonight, not I have to get dressed, go out, come home, get changed....>_< Damn it. Asshole cat. If I didn't love him I swear I would have thrown his ass outside.