RP Smut, the In-Character and Out of Character

[Gwazi Magnum]

Question that popped up from Discord shenanigans.

Growing up in forum RP's I spent a lot of time engaging in Smut RPs when I was younger. I stopped doing so about a year later because I found I was having too many issues separating the IC and OOC immersion. And found it best to remove myself from that aspect of RP.

As in, I knew what was IC and OOC. But the feelings you get firing off when being online intimate with someone where the same feelings firing off in the RPs themselves.

So my question to others who have engaged in Smut RP for a while now is basically how do you avoid this? Is it an innate ability? Is it something you tell yourself? Is it a trained discipline?

+To clarify, the above is in reference to about 6 years ago now. I'd like to believe I could separate/distance myself now. But I've never re-entered the smut field so I can't say for certain. Not that there's a desire too, this is more of an academic curiosity.

 

[Jorick]

Based on my years of experience in this area, I have to say it's definitely a learned ability rather than something most people have innately.

I struggled with this at first. The first person I ever did extensive smutty roleplays with also had trouble with it. It ended up with us "dating" for a bit before I realized that I actually felt nothing for her as a person and broke it off. It was a rather awkward and unpleasant experience but it was a solid first step on the path of realizing that there needs to be a firm barrier between in character and out of character stuff.

I avoided any smut RP for a while after that incident, but when I tried it again I made a very conscious effort to keep them separate. It was sort of a constant mental reminder that I was playing a character, and while getting immersed in that was fun I had to remember that it was just a character I was writing engaging in fictional things with another character. It became a subconscious thing for me very quickly. Nowadays I can flip back and forth between writing hot and heavy smut and chatting in a purely friendly manner with the other person without even needing to think about it.

I have no idea if it would be that easy for anyone else though. I just know I've met a looooooooooot of people who fail to keep a firm mental barrier between character and self and I've seen it cause all sorts of drama. The people I've talked to who don't struggle with that have all had stories about learning the hard way, so that's anecdotally universal as well. So yeah, it's a learned thing and a conscious effort, but it can indeed be done.

 

[junebug]

Honestly, I don't remember any time I've struggled to separate IC from OOC when it comes to smut. It just came to me. Sure, we flirt here and there, but honestly? Every partner I've done smut (minus one, though I wouldn't even consider it smut, so probably everyone was a good experience) with has been a pleasant experience and there was never any complications at all. I was completely detached from the whole experience; I knew it was just a character, just a story, never real life. So, I feel like it's always been pretty easy.

 

[The Mood is Write]

Hm. I did struggle initially with it, but I did learn to separate. I mean, I was 'dating' a guy four years my senior when I was fourteen...

Because I thought our characters should be involved together.

Not even because they were.

But yeah, it's a case of 'learn from experience' and 'remember your partner is a person and the characters may seem like people but they aren't'.

After the four-year 'relationship' with that guy, I haven't had the issue myself, but I've had partners who got caught up in being unable to separate. -cringe- Ask @Pure Torture about some RPs I did on my old persona and snuff. I've blocked most of it from my own memory. lol

 

[Reina]

I don't believe I ever struggled to separate IC and OOC in regards to smut. All of my role plays take place in the Red star bedroom. I'm just a person that enjoys being descriptive in all aspects of a character's story and that includes their sex life. I think, for me, I know I am not actually engaging in any type of sexual activity with my partner. It is my characters that are having sex, not us. I will admit that some sexy times with my characters can seem rather enticing to me but I have never actually crossed or even desired to cross that line nor do I ever intend to.

I guess I am making a conscious effort to avoid becoming attached to the writer. Its about the story and not the person writing it. As long as I am not discussing what type of smut my partner enjoys, I think its pretty safe. You just have to remember that it isn't you engaging in smut but your character. Then, I think, that would reduce any feelings that might arise or mistaking the character relationship for something real when it isn't.

 

[Hope]

The situation is different for everybody. Some people, naturally feel connected to the character they are writing and may, as they are writing, envision themselves doing and saying what the character is. In those cases, as Jorick said, it is a learned discipline. You would need to learn to separate yourself from your character and detach completely. Unless, of course, your mission in role playing is to live and experience aspects life through your characters.

There are others who roleplay to write. Well, we all roleplay to write in a sense, but what I mean is you write as you would if you were writing a book, only it's collaborative. It is important when you're writing to insert real emotion into the story. If you don't feel it neither will your readers. However, it is a very dangerous game to insert yourself into the story (or someone you know in real life, but that's a matter of legalities that don't really pertain to role playing). Regardless, I still think the character and the writer should remain separate for the aforementioned reasons you listed.