FANFICTION Staff Fanfiction by Staff for Staff

Astaroth

[*screaming into the void intensifies*]
Original poster
STAFF MEMBER
DONATING MEMBER
FOLKLORE MEMBER
Invitation Status
  1. Not accepting invites at this time
Posting Speed
  1. Speed of Light
  2. Slow As Molasses
Online Availability
It varies a lot depending on my schedule, unfortunately.
Writing Levels
  1. Advanced
  2. Adaptable
Preferred Character Gender
  1. Primarily Prefer Male
Genres
Psychological horror
Body horror
Supernatural
Giallo
Splatterpunk
Dark fantasy
Historical
Low fantasy
Magipunk
Weird West
Noir
Thriller
Gothic horror
Southern Gothic
Gaslamp fantasy
Cyberpunk
Space saga
Clockpunk
Space Western
Space opera
Paranormal
Modern fantasy
Dieselpunk
Post-Apocalyptic
Crime drama
Medieval fantasy
Welcome to
STAFF FANFICTION
(by Staffers, for Staffers)

This is a collection of short fiction starring past and present Iwaku Staff and Interns, written by various Staff/Admins as holiday presents or just for fun and originally shared in the Staff Lounge. We've moved them here so they don't get lost in the Staff archives and so that people no longer on the Staff team can still read them and enjoy, too.

INDEX
Holidays in Iwaku Family (Iwakumas 2016) by Pahn
Staff Cupcakes (A Tale) by Kitti
Iwakumas 2017 by Kitti

 
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Holiday Dinner ~|~ Iwaku Staff Edition

"WHO PLACED THE FORKS IN THE SPOONS' SPACE?!" Diana groaned and looked over her shoulder, her eyes throwing lightning bolts to those who were daring to assist her in the kitchen. It was HER domain, her place of ruling – but she needed help from other staffers to prepare the table and the food for the mega super holiday dinner. Her other two admin helpers, Rory and Vay, had sent in a card of holiday greetings, wishing everyone the best. Every staff member had taken a magical transport to her house and Mr. Gibs had even built a little shack on the side of the house for a bunch of bunk beds so everyone could sleep there safely. He was now sitting on the back porch with Astaroth, Grumpy, Jorick, and Seiji, smoking expensive cigars that some other person had bought for everyone. They were laughing and drinking delicious bourbon and whiskey. Jorick was drinking his girly drink because that's all he knows what to drink, but no one cared, it just meant more of the bourbon for the other three.

Kitti was making some Swedish balls, mixed with some weird recipe from New Zealand, as Draugvan helped her the best he could. He was only an apprentice after all, but his diligence was most definitely appreciated. Greenie was also preparing some special food, from some mystical worldly place she had traveled to in the past years. No one really knew what it was, but it smelled absolutely delicious. Elle had washed all the vegetables earlier, and was now walking around mumbling to herself about birds and finding a goddamn signal in this place. Some of the girls were sitting around the table, not wanting to be in anyone's legs, but still entertaining anyone who was in earshot. Moody was laughing along but was also busy replying to one of her RPs, her legs crossed and her cheeks flushed from the content of her posts. Nemopedia was rapping while firejay sang a sweet melody to accompany, The Philosoraptor making beatbox sounds with his philosopher smoking pipe, the guttural sounds coming from his throat making a strange yet complete music with the other two. Kagayours kept making Beatles requests, and as much as they tried to follow them, ultimately they deviated into another direction. Matter not, they were all laughing and singing along.

In the living room, Hana and Sen were holding hands and holding a discussion circle about the latest anime they had just watched together. Shinku and Akashi were actively participating, having opinions on all the possible RPs this one anime could span. Atomyk was brooming the entire house, even though no one had asked him, but Diana kept her watching owl eyes on him to make sure he wasn't knocking anything down. Nydanna, ~Happily.Ever.After~, and OrlandoBloomers were helping around picking up some discarded dishes and glasses. They were all working with a strange coordination, even with Noctis The Devious on her phone answering some questions on the forum even when they had all promised each other to remain offline for the night. "Annnnd another one solved, yes!" She fist-pumped before covering her mouth, hoping nobody had paid attention to that.

Hospes was busy on the phone with all her friends, planning the next few days already and telling them how happy she was to be here at Diana's place. She had brought a whole case of papayas and she WAS going to make everyone eat some! Melon was sitting in a dark corner with a single light source, applying some makeup and showing Peregrine and Turtle all her tricks. They were both super interested but ultimately they let Melon use all of her makeup on her own face. Falcon was reading a book by the window, smiling at everyone and looking over at Click This to see who was progressing faster in their Security case. Click This was looking longingly at the anime discussion that was happening with Senhana, throwing her own opinions here and there. Minerva and IceQueen were sitting together on the floor by the Christmas tree, looking through images of super kawaii anime girls and debating which Hatsune Miku song should be next. Red Revolver was discussing a new video game with WhisperingWillows, who knew nothing of this game but was still keeping the conversation going happily and her enthusiasm was truly contagious as Vivian and Wanderfool leaned in to listen quietly.

Overall, the entire staff was having a grand time. Princess Poisoned Rose, Soulserenity, and Basil were talking about art and the various commissions they had lately, some very weird and some just simply unfeasible. Manna Beast, Tarieles, and Tone 6th were bringing in some more wood for the fireplace, and they had stopped to chat with the boys smoking and drinking outside. Grumpy made a lewd joke and if they didn't laugh, they were most certainly blushing at how inappropriate drunk adults were. Pahn was busy finishing writing up something she wanted to read during the dinner, but she kept being distracted by FieryCold who was playing Sims 3 (with Diana yelling in the back that she was not able to play right now, but please make a Sims of her). Winter and Klutzy Ninja Kitty were planning the after-dinner board game, something original and probably really complicated to play, but fun was their main goal. Jared was hiding in a corner, dressed as Santa Claus and smiling nervously as he prompted everyone to take a picture on Santa's lap for a few dollars to fund-raise money for Iwaku.

Once the food was ready*, everyone put down whatever they were doing and the table was cleared from the clutter of the afternoon's activities. Diana served everyone a nice, full plate of delicious food, the aroma a strange but sweet mix of international recipes from all over the globe. They all held hands before beginning to eat, each and all of the staffers saying their thanks to the hostess (Seiji was having gases again, so they had to interrupt to light a few matches, causing Astaroth and Jorick to laugh their faces off and Diana to frown and menace them with a large wooden spoon) and how they were all happy to be here. Someone yelled "GODDAMNIT IT'S DUSTY HERE" and laughter erupted, hands busying themselves instead to stuffing faces with food. Diana nodded in silence and smiled at her table, thinking to herself that she had done well with this legacy, and was ready to move on to her new project.

Happy Holidays, lots of love and success to everyone!
Love, Pahn


@Staff - Maintenance
@Staff - Community
@Staff - Interns
@Staff - Security
@Staff - Administrative
@Diana
@jared555
@Vay
@Bob Ross
 
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ur a dork











<3
 
  • Bucket of Rainbows
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Reactions: Kagayours and Pahn
It's actually tandoori chicken.. with a twist! O.O

XD I had the biggest grin while reading, no joke.
 
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Reactions: Pahn
so cute <3
 
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Reactions: Pahn
Boss beats my incredibly cheesy line from the other day. 8D Now I feel a slightly less embarrassed~

Once the food was reading,

Huehuehue, caught you. 8^)
 
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Reactions: Sir Basil
Boss beats my incredibly cheesy line from the other day. 8D Now I feel a slightly less embarrassed~



Huehuehue, caught you. 8^)
hahahahaha oooooops 8D
 
dawwwww
 
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Reactions: Pahn
Hahahaawwwww x) This is beautiful and super sweet!
 
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Reactions: Pahn
GET OUT OF HERE WITH YOUR FUCKING PAPAYAS HOSPES. D:< PAPAYA IS NOT ALLOWED IN THIS HOUSE
 
This made my day <3
 
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Reactions: Pahn
This was hilarious and I loved it.
 
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Reactions: Pahn
somehow i didn't get an alert for this :(

I wanna get alerts for the awesome things! <3
 
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Reactions: Astoria and Pahn
I only just noticed this :D

079.png
 
  • Bucket of Rainbows
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Reactions: Astaroth and Pahn
I love this. I really do. I was grinning while reading it. I'd say my role was definitely just like how I would act in the situation. xD
 
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Reactions: Pahn