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The Eye of the Beholder || Or How to Know When You're Over-describing
Hey kids. Me again, with one of those handy dandy non-tutorial tutorials, filled with my basic opinions, thoughts and goals for myself. Last time we discussed Effective Characterization or how to avoid losing your character's voice.This time around, I'd like to address the elusive beast that is description.
I'm here to tell you, my darlings... you are not alone. I've been there, and I'd even dare to suggest that everyone who writes has, at one time or another been there, too. And there is hope.
First step: And the most important aspect of all roleplaying - something I would sincerely recommend you put into practice at all times. Do not take yourself too seriously. Remember... Roleplaying is a hobby. It's meant to be a fun and interactive exercise. When it starts to feel like work or you start to invest too much time and energy in 'perfecting' yourself, well... you might as well become a novelist. In roleplaying, you're going to make mistakes, you're going to forget syntax or make a spelling error or use a semi-colon instead of a comma. And that is okay. That is FINE. Why? Because no one is paying $20 to read your RP. No one went to Barnes and Nobles and lovingly scanned thousands of RPs to find YOUR RP, only to be disappointed by the lack of quality.
This doesn't mean you should throw all to the wind and start writing posts in text-speech. You should always put effort into your RP... Why? Because it's also not enjoyable not to care. And frankly, it's not enjoyable for other people either.
What it is, is a balance and that, in essence, is also the tone of this "non-torial"
If ever there was a time to 'over-describe', it's within a CS. Essentially, this written description of a character paints the picture that others see. It provides people with context and helps them relate and gives the GM an idea of whether or not you have a firm understanding of your character. That being said, there are a few key points to note.
Number One: Even in a CS, less is more. While you want to ensure that you're hitting all the necessary points, when you start to delve into the scary words in the thesaurus, or start describing what's underneath your character's fingernails, you've gone too far. Use simple words. Words people understand. Avoid trying to get too esoteric or whimsical. As a GM, if I have to google every other word you used, I'm probably not going to be exceptionally keen on continuing to read your CS. If you wouldn't use the word in a conversation, don't write it... Rule of thumb.
This goes with words you DO know, but that fall into the territory of 'cliche', too. Now, here I would say this is more a guideline than a rule, because basically, I hate the word "cliche". Anything can be cliche... but cliches can also be done really really well...
But what you should try to avoid are those descriptive terms that 'feel' meaningful or artsy, but really just come across as prose. Try to stick with a clear picture... or if you have to describe something 'artistically', go towards something that isn't so played out (we've all seen 'sky blue eyes' enough times that by now we just skim past the words).
Number Two: Avoid the trap of describing things your character has or wears. 99% of the time, no one cares. Here's the thing. Your character is not in a cartoon... chances are, they don't wear the same thing every day... When you start describing what they 'wear' in your CS, you can fall into weird territory. That's not to say there aren't exceptions, of course... but try not to pigeon hole your character into looking like Helga Pataki.
The same goes for 'items' your character might have or carry. If you've written three paragraphs about their sword or armor, you've gone too far. I'm bored. Everyone is bored. It's swell that you know so much about it, but really... you're entering textbook area (and frankly, it can read a toooouch pretentious).
Again: Those all too familiar words... Less is More.
It doesn't take more than a few words to describe something. It never should. If you find you're ambling on and on, paragraph after paragraph... chances are you've lost control of the narrative, and this is never good. If it feels like it's dragging for you, it'll drag for your readers. Take a minute, take a breath, then do the thing none of us like to do, but always must... SELF EDIT. Stop. Re-read. What needs to be there? What works and what doesn't? Descriptions can be beautiful, but are you getting too prosey? Are you dipping into flowery filler? Are you painting a picture? Or a mural?
Every scene you write should matter... Every scene should have purpose. Especially in RP, where your reader is also your co-writer and HAS to have something to work off of. Your posts should be able to spur reaction. Does yours?
A lot of times, people think that fluffing up a post with crazy descriptions and details is going to improve their writing. In the end, this is just as bad (sometimes worse) than the dreaded one-liner. Don't get prosey - that's not going to help you grow. Unless you're writing a harlequin romance novel (and there's nothing wrong with that!), fluff is going to read exactly that way... fluff. You can add a hundred words to describe eyes, but in the end the only thing people really care about is that they're blue - so say blue. If you want to broaden it... then go for adjectives that means something. Do they have an emotion behind them? Are they blank? Deep? Empty? Wise? Thoughtful? If you just HAVE to use color-adjectives, then go for something new... creative... Use descriptive terms and words that MATTER. That invoke. Again, resisting cliches (I.E. - "His blue eyes glittered like crystals") is difficult, but in the end you'll come out with something that people -want- to read.
Taking the time to really evaluate what you've written will ensure that you aren't giving someone too many words with too little to work with. Useful description should -flow-... it should feel like it belongs. If you've written something and it feels as though it -removes- you from the scene, you may need to rethink it. Being able to say 'no' is part of being a writer, and it will only help to improve your skills.
Visualize the scene you're trying to describe... build upon those senses and what you come up with should be fun to read and effective. Just resist the urge to overexplain. We all know what coffee smells like - you don't have to go into detail about the brand, strength, grind texture, cup it's poured in, how much creamer was used etc. We all know how a chilly winter wind feels... you don't need us to know if it's arctic or antarctic.
Keep it simple and you should end up with a decent scene folks can work with, without all that fluff to wade through.
Character voice is important... so so so important. I cannot stress this enough. When it comes to any writing, no matter how many rules or guidelines you follow with absolute perfection, it will not matter if you lose your character's voice in the process. And this goes with description as well.
The best way I can think to explain this is with the rule that 'Lumberjacks don't know Gucci'
Remember who you're writing for. If you're playing a prissy, pretty diva than sure... describing the dress another character is wearing in vivid detail could be important - but if you're playing a rough and tumble lumberjack, chances are he isn't going to know Prada from a parade, and he certainly isn't going to 'think' words like "aubergine" or "cerulean"
Don't be afraid to -use- that characterization to make your posts more interesting...
The reason this works is because it keeps your reader immersed. You start using descriptions and terms your character never would, you run the risk of losing your narrative, and if you lose that, you lose the scene. Stay in character... even when it's not dialogue or introspect.
The difference can be simple, and this is where description can actually AID you. For instance...
Neither is necessarily 'wrong' or 'bad' ... but one certainly paints a better picture, in a more interesting way of how the character is feeling, and offers the reader something to REACT to, making a responsive post all the more easy.
Where you shouldn't over-describe... it's important to remember that description is also your friend :) Or at the very least, a great frenemy... And on that hopefully-not-too-confusing note, happy writing :-D
Just What is Over-Describing? ||
Picture this, if you will. You're writing a post… getting in the groove, when suddenly you realize you've just spent the last fifteen paragraphs describing curtains. You sit in a trance, overwhelmed by indecision... Is it too much? Should you delete it all? Some? None? Have you suddenly been possessed by the ghost of Jane Austen? Is this that purple prose disease people warned you about? Should you just chop off your ten beautiful fingers and never type again? I'm here to tell you, my darlings... you are not alone. I've been there, and I'd even dare to suggest that everyone who writes has, at one time or another been there, too. And there is hope.
First step: And the most important aspect of all roleplaying - something I would sincerely recommend you put into practice at all times. Do not take yourself too seriously. Remember... Roleplaying is a hobby. It's meant to be a fun and interactive exercise. When it starts to feel like work or you start to invest too much time and energy in 'perfecting' yourself, well... you might as well become a novelist. In roleplaying, you're going to make mistakes, you're going to forget syntax or make a spelling error or use a semi-colon instead of a comma. And that is okay. That is FINE. Why? Because no one is paying $20 to read your RP. No one went to Barnes and Nobles and lovingly scanned thousands of RPs to find YOUR RP, only to be disappointed by the lack of quality.
This doesn't mean you should throw all to the wind and start writing posts in text-speech. You should always put effort into your RP... Why? Because it's also not enjoyable not to care. And frankly, it's not enjoyable for other people either.
What it is, is a balance and that, in essence, is also the tone of this "non-torial"
The OOC Vs. The IC ||
Before we get into actual descriptions... There is something we need to address, and that is the difference between in character descriptions and out of characters - or those you would find in a character sheet. If ever there was a time to 'over-describe', it's within a CS. Essentially, this written description of a character paints the picture that others see. It provides people with context and helps them relate and gives the GM an idea of whether or not you have a firm understanding of your character. That being said, there are a few key points to note.
Number One: Even in a CS, less is more. While you want to ensure that you're hitting all the necessary points, when you start to delve into the scary words in the thesaurus, or start describing what's underneath your character's fingernails, you've gone too far. Use simple words. Words people understand. Avoid trying to get too esoteric or whimsical. As a GM, if I have to google every other word you used, I'm probably not going to be exceptionally keen on continuing to read your CS. If you wouldn't use the word in a conversation, don't write it... Rule of thumb.
This goes with words you DO know, but that fall into the territory of 'cliche', too. Now, here I would say this is more a guideline than a rule, because basically, I hate the word "cliche". Anything can be cliche... but cliches can also be done really really well...
But what you should try to avoid are those descriptive terms that 'feel' meaningful or artsy, but really just come across as prose. Try to stick with a clear picture... or if you have to describe something 'artistically', go towards something that isn't so played out (we've all seen 'sky blue eyes' enough times that by now we just skim past the words).
Number Two: Avoid the trap of describing things your character has or wears. 99% of the time, no one cares. Here's the thing. Your character is not in a cartoon... chances are, they don't wear the same thing every day... When you start describing what they 'wear' in your CS, you can fall into weird territory. That's not to say there aren't exceptions, of course... but try not to pigeon hole your character into looking like Helga Pataki.
The same goes for 'items' your character might have or carry. If you've written three paragraphs about their sword or armor, you've gone too far. I'm bored. Everyone is bored. It's swell that you know so much about it, but really... you're entering textbook area (and frankly, it can read a toooouch pretentious).
Natural and Unnatural ||
With that much out of the way. Let's get into IC description. This isn't so much a list of do's and don'ts, because as I've said before, there are always exceptions. But in my experience as a roleplayer, these are just a few suggestions I have that have served me well enough and will hopefully help you, too. Again: Those all too familiar words... Less is More.
It doesn't take more than a few words to describe something. It never should. If you find you're ambling on and on, paragraph after paragraph... chances are you've lost control of the narrative, and this is never good. If it feels like it's dragging for you, it'll drag for your readers. Take a minute, take a breath, then do the thing none of us like to do, but always must... SELF EDIT. Stop. Re-read. What needs to be there? What works and what doesn't? Descriptions can be beautiful, but are you getting too prosey? Are you dipping into flowery filler? Are you painting a picture? Or a mural?
Every scene you write should matter... Every scene should have purpose. Especially in RP, where your reader is also your co-writer and HAS to have something to work off of. Your posts should be able to spur reaction. Does yours?
A lot of times, people think that fluffing up a post with crazy descriptions and details is going to improve their writing. In the end, this is just as bad (sometimes worse) than the dreaded one-liner. Don't get prosey - that's not going to help you grow. Unless you're writing a harlequin romance novel (and there's nothing wrong with that!), fluff is going to read exactly that way... fluff. You can add a hundred words to describe eyes, but in the end the only thing people really care about is that they're blue - so say blue. If you want to broaden it... then go for adjectives that means something. Do they have an emotion behind them? Are they blank? Deep? Empty? Wise? Thoughtful? If you just HAVE to use color-adjectives, then go for something new... creative... Use descriptive terms and words that MATTER. That invoke. Again, resisting cliches (I.E. - "His blue eyes glittered like crystals") is difficult, but in the end you'll come out with something that people -want- to read.
Taking the time to really evaluate what you've written will ensure that you aren't giving someone too many words with too little to work with. Useful description should -flow-... it should feel like it belongs. If you've written something and it feels as though it -removes- you from the scene, you may need to rethink it. Being able to say 'no' is part of being a writer, and it will only help to improve your skills.
A Sense of the Senses ||
One of the most useful things I've been told as a writer is when writing descriptions, to use my senses. We have five of them, and at least four can always been pulled from to describe the world around you. While the sense of taste might be trickier, touch, smell, sight and hearing are something we all experience minute by minute. And this is a -really- efficient way to paint a scene that someone can truly immerse themselves in, without it feeling prosey or overblown. Visualize the scene you're trying to describe... build upon those senses and what you come up with should be fun to read and effective. Just resist the urge to overexplain. We all know what coffee smells like - you don't have to go into detail about the brand, strength, grind texture, cup it's poured in, how much creamer was used etc. We all know how a chilly winter wind feels... you don't need us to know if it's arctic or antarctic.
Keep it simple and you should end up with a decent scene folks can work with, without all that fluff to wade through.
Losing Your Voice ||
"Elle... you're using that 'voice' word again" ... I know. I'm old. I'm redundant. But once in a blue moon something I say makes a modicum of sense, I promise. Character voice is important... so so so important. I cannot stress this enough. When it comes to any writing, no matter how many rules or guidelines you follow with absolute perfection, it will not matter if you lose your character's voice in the process. And this goes with description as well.
The best way I can think to explain this is with the rule that 'Lumberjacks don't know Gucci'
Remember who you're writing for. If you're playing a prissy, pretty diva than sure... describing the dress another character is wearing in vivid detail could be important - but if you're playing a rough and tumble lumberjack, chances are he isn't going to know Prada from a parade, and he certainly isn't going to 'think' words like "aubergine" or "cerulean"
Don't be afraid to -use- that characterization to make your posts more interesting...
For instance, using the lumberjack reference: "She wandered towards him and his eyes flickered to her sleek, bare legs - supple trunks, smooth as Birch. Not the kind you'd put a hatchet in, mind... but the kind you'd spend hours whittling with careful precision."
The reason this works is because it keeps your reader immersed. You start using descriptions and terms your character never would, you run the risk of losing your narrative, and if you lose that, you lose the scene. Stay in character... even when it's not dialogue or introspect.
But Now For Something REALLY Confusing... ||
This might just be me, but I know I'm not completely alone... (thanks, Chuck Palahniuk...)- one thing that I try to avoid is too many -thought verbs-... (thought, felt, knew, etc.) There's a reason people say "show, don't tell" and in writing this can be especially important. Now, in roleplaying it's sometimes hard, because in order to get the quality you need, a little introspection helps, but in the end what is more evocative ?The difference can be simple, and this is where description can actually AID you. For instance...
"She entered the room and he thought she looked beautiful, "Wow..." He said, grinning."
vs.
"She entered and his eyes found her, widening, his tongue sticking to the roof of his mouth as he opened it to speak. She approached, smooth black heels pattering on the ceramics and he cleared his throat, finding his voice, "Wow..." He breathed, a goofy grin spilling out across his face."
vs.
"She entered and his eyes found her, widening, his tongue sticking to the roof of his mouth as he opened it to speak. She approached, smooth black heels pattering on the ceramics and he cleared his throat, finding his voice, "Wow..." He breathed, a goofy grin spilling out across his face."
Neither is necessarily 'wrong' or 'bad' ... but one certainly paints a better picture, in a more interesting way of how the character is feeling, and offers the reader something to REACT to, making a responsive post all the more easy.
Where you shouldn't over-describe... it's important to remember that description is also your friend :) Or at the very least, a great frenemy... And on that hopefully-not-too-confusing note, happy writing :-D
