K
Klutzy Ninja Kitty
Guest
Everything I Never Had {Ilona Oneshot} [Canon]
By the time I was old enough to control my power, my childhood was long over. I could've returned home at any time afterwards, but I remained away from Arendelle--my fear of rejection preventing me from returning to my family. Deep down, I hoped that my childhood and my family was the only things my power would ever rob me of, and now that I had mastered it this strange ability of mine would no longer be a hinderance.
I awoke one night in one of the strange lands I camped in sometime after the event with The Golden Witch Beatrice had occurred. My breathing was heavy and staggered, my locks of blonde hair soaked with sweat. I could vividly recall it as if it had truly happened, a dream where I stood in the center of a crowd. The crowd yelled at me, cursed my name, called me a monster, and told me I should go to Hell with the Arch-Demon where I belonged, all because of my strange power. So, it turned out my childhood and my family weren't the only things my power had robbed me of, it was now beginning to rob me of my sleep.
Unable to rest, I rose and gathered my things, deciding I would travel to the one place where I had always felt comforted: my room back home. Even though I had never truly gotten to live there, on occasion, when I thought about it sometimes my power would bring me there. I would sit in the room and rest on my bed, watching the sunset from my window. Sometimes I would even spend the night there. But I always made sure to leave before my parents could find me.
Able to move faster than the blink of an eye between realms with my power, I instantly found myself outside the walls of Arendelle. A shiver immediately struck my body as I realized it was winter. Unlike my mother, I didn't exactly feel content in the cold so I made my way to a hidden door at the side of the castle when one of the guards had his back turned.
I rushed inside the castle, heart racing as my feet trotted down its stone floors. The castle was dark at this time of night, so I froze in place when I saw a small, flickering candle light coming from inside my room. Who would've been in there at this hour?
I crouched down in the shadows and slowly made my way along, making sure I was well hidden before peeking into the room.
After viewing the sight in the room, a feeling of overwhelming hurt overtook me. I whirled around and ran as fast as I could, heading back for the door I had come from. As I ran, I almost could've swore I heard my mother's voice call out to me, but I ignored it and pressed on.
I rushed so quickly that I didn't even bother to make sure no guards had seen me. The guard I had tried so hard to avoid contact with before saw me this time as I carelessly bolted out and began to chase after me.
"Stop right there, thief!" he cried, running surprisingly well for how slick the ground was. He nearly gained on me before I realized, "Duh, I can just teleport away from him."
I stopped in my run and turned to face him waiting until he was mere seconds away from grabbing me before I vanished from his presence.
I reappeared in the streets of Arendelle's town, which were empty because of how late it was. My breath clouded from the chilled air as I stood in place, clenching my fists. I reached behind me and drew my sword from its hilt on my back and walked toward a tree, beginning to hack away at it using both of my hands to hold the sword. Chunks of bark flew in all different directions, leaving imprints in the fresh snow as they hit the ground.
"H-How could they do this!?"
Hit!
"That room was mine. Mother and Father told me they would always leave it there for me."
Hit!
"B-But they gave it away! They gave it away to..."
Another child.
As my blue eyes met the inside of my room earlier, I saw my mother inside it rocking an infant in her arms. My bed and my things were gone, a crib and new decorations replacing them.
"How could they not realize..."
Hit!
"...how much doing this would hurt me."
My arms wobbled, becoming to weak with grief to bear the weight of the weapon they had been supporting. The sword collapsed to the ground, leaving its mark in the snow, my body bent forward and hands still clutching its hilt. Warm, salty tears from my eyes followed suit, landing in the snow next to my sword.
"They hath replaced me," I muttered. I've been living my life alone, with nothing, but they couldn't even keep my room open for me in case I ever come home.
But that wasn't the only thing that hurt...
My tears continued to fall as I whispered an apology under my breath. The apology wasn't to my parents, but to the baby instead. "I hate this. I shouldn't be envious of you. That's wrong of me. I swear by the Sun's holy light that I will apologize to you one day for feeling this way. It isn't your fault that I am the way I am..."
When I had looked at that babe, swaddled and peacefully sleeping in my mother's arms it hurt me. I saw that this child would have everything I never had. He or she would grow up with loving parents, safety, love, comfort, education, and happiness. But what did I get growing up? I had a one-way ticket to the place where all the demons go. I was thrust from place to place, dropped into constant danger. Somehow, I always survived and managed--even with a smile on my face--but that didn't mean that I wasn't hurting. My life had been a hard one, and one that wasn't over just yet...
As if to remind me of my difficult life, I felt the power I had brewing inside me well up out of my control. Yes, I had learned to control my power, but there was one time when it still could activate against my will: when I was under emotional distress.
A quiet, gentle snow began to fall mere seconds before I looked up, vanishing from Arendelle. I had gone from my home yet again.
By the time I was old enough to control my power, my childhood was long over. I could've returned home at any time afterwards, but I remained away from Arendelle--my fear of rejection preventing me from returning to my family. Deep down, I hoped that my childhood and my family was the only things my power would ever rob me of, and now that I had mastered it this strange ability of mine would no longer be a hinderance.
I awoke one night in one of the strange lands I camped in sometime after the event with The Golden Witch Beatrice had occurred. My breathing was heavy and staggered, my locks of blonde hair soaked with sweat. I could vividly recall it as if it had truly happened, a dream where I stood in the center of a crowd. The crowd yelled at me, cursed my name, called me a monster, and told me I should go to Hell with the Arch-Demon where I belonged, all because of my strange power. So, it turned out my childhood and my family weren't the only things my power had robbed me of, it was now beginning to rob me of my sleep.
Unable to rest, I rose and gathered my things, deciding I would travel to the one place where I had always felt comforted: my room back home. Even though I had never truly gotten to live there, on occasion, when I thought about it sometimes my power would bring me there. I would sit in the room and rest on my bed, watching the sunset from my window. Sometimes I would even spend the night there. But I always made sure to leave before my parents could find me.
Able to move faster than the blink of an eye between realms with my power, I instantly found myself outside the walls of Arendelle. A shiver immediately struck my body as I realized it was winter. Unlike my mother, I didn't exactly feel content in the cold so I made my way to a hidden door at the side of the castle when one of the guards had his back turned.
I rushed inside the castle, heart racing as my feet trotted down its stone floors. The castle was dark at this time of night, so I froze in place when I saw a small, flickering candle light coming from inside my room. Who would've been in there at this hour?
I crouched down in the shadows and slowly made my way along, making sure I was well hidden before peeking into the room.
After viewing the sight in the room, a feeling of overwhelming hurt overtook me. I whirled around and ran as fast as I could, heading back for the door I had come from. As I ran, I almost could've swore I heard my mother's voice call out to me, but I ignored it and pressed on.
I rushed so quickly that I didn't even bother to make sure no guards had seen me. The guard I had tried so hard to avoid contact with before saw me this time as I carelessly bolted out and began to chase after me.
"Stop right there, thief!" he cried, running surprisingly well for how slick the ground was. He nearly gained on me before I realized, "Duh, I can just teleport away from him."
I stopped in my run and turned to face him waiting until he was mere seconds away from grabbing me before I vanished from his presence.
I reappeared in the streets of Arendelle's town, which were empty because of how late it was. My breath clouded from the chilled air as I stood in place, clenching my fists. I reached behind me and drew my sword from its hilt on my back and walked toward a tree, beginning to hack away at it using both of my hands to hold the sword. Chunks of bark flew in all different directions, leaving imprints in the fresh snow as they hit the ground.
"H-How could they do this!?"
Hit!
"That room was mine. Mother and Father told me they would always leave it there for me."
Hit!
"B-But they gave it away! They gave it away to..."
Another child.
As my blue eyes met the inside of my room earlier, I saw my mother inside it rocking an infant in her arms. My bed and my things were gone, a crib and new decorations replacing them.
"How could they not realize..."
Hit!
"...how much doing this would hurt me."
My arms wobbled, becoming to weak with grief to bear the weight of the weapon they had been supporting. The sword collapsed to the ground, leaving its mark in the snow, my body bent forward and hands still clutching its hilt. Warm, salty tears from my eyes followed suit, landing in the snow next to my sword.
"They hath replaced me," I muttered. I've been living my life alone, with nothing, but they couldn't even keep my room open for me in case I ever come home.
But that wasn't the only thing that hurt...
My tears continued to fall as I whispered an apology under my breath. The apology wasn't to my parents, but to the baby instead. "I hate this. I shouldn't be envious of you. That's wrong of me. I swear by the Sun's holy light that I will apologize to you one day for feeling this way. It isn't your fault that I am the way I am..."
When I had looked at that babe, swaddled and peacefully sleeping in my mother's arms it hurt me. I saw that this child would have everything I never had. He or she would grow up with loving parents, safety, love, comfort, education, and happiness. But what did I get growing up? I had a one-way ticket to the place where all the demons go. I was thrust from place to place, dropped into constant danger. Somehow, I always survived and managed--even with a smile on my face--but that didn't mean that I wasn't hurting. My life had been a hard one, and one that wasn't over just yet...
As if to remind me of my difficult life, I felt the power I had brewing inside me well up out of my control. Yes, I had learned to control my power, but there was one time when it still could activate against my will: when I was under emotional distress.
A quiet, gentle snow began to fall mere seconds before I looked up, vanishing from Arendelle. I had gone from my home yet again.