• So many newbies lately! Here is a very important PSA about one of our most vital content policies! Read it even if you are an ancient member!

Home Is Where The Heart Is

"... and you want this?" He confirmed, his eyes locking on Nyle with confusion that didn't lighten up. Searching the other's face, he let out a deep sigh before wiping his face. "So you're saying you're... uh... alive, sort of, again? I get you back for a day after months only for you to leave again for three months a-and... and.... I'm sorry, this is all really confusing," he admitted in a babble while keeping his eyes on his hands now.

"You do realize that this complicated things, right? How... am I supposed to see you? I highly doubt those people are just going to let you come and talk to me, right?" He reminded before nervously grabbing Nyle's hand only to be given the familiar feeling of... nothing, that came with him being a ghost. "Are you happy like this?"
 
"...I thought you'd be happy? I-I've been through literal hell and I still made it back here, and you... aren't even that happy? I... I didn't choose to fucking leave, Leo. Don't you think this has all been horrendous for me? T-To dig my way out of a fucking coffin and s-stumble around until I got home? Don't you realise h-how horrible it is for me to see how... some of my skin has just rotted away or... or how a limb can just drop off without warning? Don't you f-fucking get that it's traumatising? But I'm happy, sure. Because I get to be with people and do things and... and I still get to be with you for the rest of eternity so... so what's the problem? If I can handle it, you should be able to," he remarked with a fierce sniffle, furiously wiping his eyes when feeling tears sting at them. He wasn't usually prone to tears like this, but the emotional reunion he had thought about for months hadn't exactly worked out as he had planned. Instead of the loving reaction, he just felt like he was some huge disappointment.

Hell, Gigi's reaction felt more heartfelt than this did.

"...What's going on? Are you... I don't understand," he whispered with a weak glance back at Oliver, who failed to return the smile he had offered him. "You both look like you f-fucking hate my guts, I don't... see what I've done wrong here."
 
"I don't hate your guts, Nyle, don't be dramatic," Leo whispered before looking up at Nyle, a small smile creeping to his lips. "I'm so fucking happy you're okay and you're here, do you know how much I missed you? I... I just... I don't know what to think, I guess? I didn't expect this," he admitted before resting his head on Nyle's shoulder.

"I guess I just miss being able to touch you properly," he whispered. "So, wait. You woke up in your coffin? Where were you, exactly? I mean, I don't mean to sound rude but I'm sure you understand that this is all a bit... overwhelming, right? I mean - god, I sound selfish, don't i?" He babbled our, the rise of panic beginning when he realized he apparently hadn't reacted the way he was supposed to. Squirming a tad, he looked over to Oliver for some assistance. "I-I... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get you upset! I'm... I'm sorry," he insisted.
 
"...You are being selfish, definitely. It's overwhelming for you, but I've been through hell. I'd like to see you cope with half the stuff I've dealt with. Gigi managed to react to my appearance far better than you did, I... it's fucking hurtful, Leo," he repeated quietly, turning to glance back over the garden with his hands fiddling with his sleeves, trying to compose himself enough so he could think straight and not make rash decisions. He wanted to escape the situation altogether, finding it incredibly suffocating, but he had had enough of dramatically storming out of places and not resolving his issues.

"You at least had Oliver," he murmured slowly, glancing back at his friend with a suspicious grimace, though he put it down to paranoia. Oliver was standoffish and cold, but he figured he was looking too far into it. "I... I don't know, you're acting like this is my fault; like I made a conscious decision to leave. I don't fucking know how this happened, alright?! I don't have a clue, so... so you can stop glaring at me like I did, Oliver. H-Honestly, this isn't fair."
 
"Please stop yelling," Leo begged, his cheeks rosy as if on the brink of tears all the while fiddling with his own sleeves. "It isn't your fault, it's no one's fault. I'm happy you're back I'm just - I'm worried about how you can stay here. You could speak to those other guys, maybe... m-maybe they'll let you stay? Oh, oh! You can taste again, right?" He quickly questioned, at least adding a bit of eagerness to his tone.

"I could start cooking for you again, maybe? I could give those creeps what they want if they let you stay, it'll be a good deal!" He declared confidently all the while looking to Nyle in approval.
 
"...I'd rather he stayed with Gigi until these guys go. I don't want you talking to them and making yourself uncomfortable," said Oliver wearily from the side, deciding that if he didn't speak up, then his preferences would just go overlooked, and he did think his opinions ought to be considered and respected. He missed Nyle, of course, but he did think his return was just going to ruin everything again. He would be stuck as a third wheel and, if his friend was suspicious of his intentions, then he wouldn't be able to get close to Leo without arguments exploding. He didn't want Nyle to leave, but at the same time, he hardly wanted him back around in the house either. "I just don't think it's wise to have that couple... hounding him with questions, Leo."

"...He has a point, I... I can't have them, like, questioning me. I'm a mess, Leo. I'm sure you could... handle how I look, but they won't," agreed Nyle, unaware how happy those words made Oliver. "I don't know what to do-- they'll leave eventually, right? And I'll... visit until they do. Gigi said I can stay as long as I need, so... so I'll visit. And we can video call one another, so... it'll be alright. I'll sort it out."
 
"How are we supposed to, y-you know... get intimate?" He whispered, his cheeks growing rosy in embarrassment. "I want to kiss you and hold you a-and, you know... do more of that, aha... but I can't if you aren't here, and it isn't like I have much of a choice on where I go, right?" He reminded, guilt immediately setting in at the thought. All this work was done to get Nyle back with him and when he finally got him back, he was forced away again?

"I... I don't mean to sound harsh but couldn't you, like... kill yourself again?" He suggested quietly, knowing that he would receive backlash. "I just - I dunno, wouldn't it be easier? I don't want to keep being taken away from you, Nyle - I know that isn't your fault but I just want you by my side again."
 
"...I didn't choose to kill myself the first time, Leo. I didn't want that. I don't want to die, w-why would I? My family want me to visit, Gigi knows I'm back. I'm not fucking killing myself, that's... the most selfish thing you've e-ever said," he whispered, his eyes wide at the other's words. He understood them, of course, but he clearly didn't approve of them. Despite the consequences of it, being able to live life again as though he was alive was all he had wanted. Hearing Leo wanted him to sacrifice all of that after he had witnessed how depressed it made him without it all was, frankly, astonishing.

"It's not easier for me to be stuck inside a house when I... I don't like that, Leo. I want to go out into the world, y-you know? The guy at the bar said I could have my old job back, everyone... they like me here! I like it here, I'm not leaving, I j-just... we'll get rid of the couple easily enough," he promised, albeit a little frostily after hearing what Leo had to say to him. With a tired sigh, he leaned against the wooden railing with a glance back over the garden. "I don't think you're being supportive right now. I'm not killing myself. I'm not even sure I can without, like, beheading myself."
 
Leo remained seated on the small outdoor couch, actively avoidibg Nyle's eyes much like when a dog has been caught chewing furniture. He knew he was being selfish, hence why he was so hesitant to admit it.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, his eyes closing tight. "I just... I want to be with you, I-I know that's selfish. I'm just so tired of not having you beside me, Nyle, a-and... and I know you want to go out and see things, but.... but can't you at least understand from my perspective?"
 
"No. No, because your perspective is fucking bullshit," the man replied, his lips screwed up in bitterness. It was one thing to arrive to what he thought was a lukewarm reception, but it was another thing entirely for his boyfriend to disregard how happy he was in order to ask him to kill himself. Nyle's situation wasn't perfect, and he was genuinely horrified by the consequences that came with being alive again, but it was much better than the alternative.

He would take being a zombie over being trapped inside a house, where his family and friends all presumed him dead. At least he could live a normal life and do normal things, to an extent.

"I... I'm going. This is bullshit," he remarked angrily as he shoved his hands inside his pockets, forcing back the urge to say something he'd regret. He would have threatened never to return, to just move back to Philadelphia and be with his family, but he knew he wouldn't do that, and saying it to hurt Leo was just mean. He did, however, want to escape the house as soon as he could, growing angrier the longer he was stood opposite his boyfriend. "I'll be back whenever I can, but I-I'm not in a rush to if this is how I'm gonna be welcomed. I-I know it's been hard on you, but I'm not k-killing myself, that's... horrible."
 
"I know, I'm sorry," he whispered, seemingly folding more into himself as he shyly avoided the other's gaze, his eyes brimming with tears as he accepted being yelled at. It only triggered Leo's memories of his former family which only made him feel even more guilty, if that was possible. Fiddling with his trembling hands, Leo continued his quiet sorrys before pressing his hands to his eyes.

"C-Can... I at least talk to you online?" He asked, though his voice was low as he turned away to avoid Nyle from seeing how emotional he was getting. "I want to talk to you, please... don't just abandon me altogether."
 
"I don't... I don't know. I'm living with Gigi. She's going to think it's weird if she happens to glance over and see I'm talking to her old neighbour who killed himself, isn't she? She doesn't know you're... still here, Leo. I like her too much to freak her out," he shrugged, growing more conscious of the fact Oliver was glaring intensely at him. He could have called him out on it, but he'd had enough arguments for one day - and he really didn't want to get into a fight and have to show just how vulnerable he was at the moment. If he could stitch better, getting into a fight wouldn't bother him. However, his stitches were pathetic and he knew any slight force would have them unravel.

It was that acknowledgement that reminded him that he had planned to ask Leo for help, with the ghost being the only person he could really turn to. Even though the mood wasn't too great, he decided that he needed help as soon as possible.

"...Before I go, I... need you to help me. I can't fucking sew, Leo. You can, right? So... maybe help me with... with that before i head back to Gigi?" He asked carefully, smiling to he didn't look as desperate as he knew he sounded. "I-It won't hurt, trust me. Just... don't freak out about how bad it looks, it really doesn't hurt. My arm literally fell off and it didn't hurt, so that's... kinda rad."
 
Leo wanted to say no, use it as revenge against the other for being so rude... but he didn't have it in him. Rubbing his face of the snot and tears, he disappeared quickly. After a few moments, Leo returned with the needle and thread before. Nervously fiddling with the needle and thread, he paused to really take in the damage only to grimace in pain. Sure, he hadn't felt any sense of physical pain in nearly six years but that didn't mean he forgot it and even in his ghostly form did he feel bad for the sight.

"... and you're okay with this?" He confirmed, his moment of guilt ending in confusion. Why anyone would want to be set in a rotting body that was literally falling apart? Nonetheless, despite his guilt also raising to anger, he worked on the other nonetheless in silence. A part of him wanted to just intentionally leave the stitches shitty so his arm would fall off and he'd be running back after Gigi saw but he knew that was too cruel. Cringing when the arm detached upon cutting the bad stitches, he gave a nervous glance inside the house where he heard the couple inside chatting. "These are really bad, Nyle. How... did you manage this?"
 
"Rolled over in bed one night and it was just on the floor. I don't remember, must have just... fallen off. I think it's funny. As long as I have good stitches keeping it in place, what's the big deal? I'm fine with this. I... I mean, it's obviously not fantastic, but it's better than... being dead. For me, this is... it's better," he repeated, knowing that the more he did so, the more likely he was to believe it. It wasn't a great way of living, but he convinced himself that it was much better than being a spirit trapped inside a house with his family mourning him back home in Philadelphia. If he had to stitch himself up on a weekly basis and wear baggy clothing every time he left the house, then he could deal with that.

"Hey, don't look so appalled, dude. It's not that bad," he promised, grinning wide in the effort to convince the other of that. "A little rotting ain't that bad, it's not extensive, y'know? And... And I kinda think I pull off this look. The whole grungy sort of style, I think it makes me look sort of cute. I could dye my hair black, go the whole way with it. Or I could get a spray tan and look more like myself."
 
Looking at Nyle in the eye, only an idiot wouldn't notice his clear concern. He said nothing in response to avoid upsetting the other any more than he did as he quickly stitched up the first main stitch. He had plenty other to do and sewing was one of the few talents he excelled in - that and computers, of course.

"I think you look handsome just the way you are," he explained quietly as he focused on the stitching, making sure to use a stitch that would hold up. "If I made the stitches shitty you'd have to come back, right? I mean, what's stopping me from doing just that?" He asked casually, though he wasn't going to do that obviously. "Do I need to have an excuse to see you?"
 
"...If you made them deliberately shitty, you know it'd just make me less likely to come back. I know you're too sweet for that, though. I don't want to argue with you, Leo. This is overwhelming, but it's a good thing! My family can come visit, they said they feel bad for you, so that's... something. They don't hate you! And we can have family meals and... and Gigi said her son can visit and I'll get to finally meet the guy. I can work at the pub again, I can visit May and... and just be normal. As normal as I can, anyway. It ain't so normal having to be stitched up and eating brains and all that, but I'll get used to it," he snorted with a playful grin, pushing himself closer to try and capitalise on the closeness between them, which culminated in a quick kiss between him and Leo.

"Hey, quit worrying about me. This is good for me, I promise. If it got too much, I... I'll kill myself, that's a promise. Until then, this really is good for me, babe."
 
"How am I supposed to meet them, though? I'm in the house of two ghost hunters, they aren't going to leave anytime soon," he reminded quietly, though a small smile did sneak to his lips after the small kiss. "I mean, that's the problem here, Nyle. If they come here and expect me to leave to meet them, they'll just get offended like they did with your funeral. This isn't as simple as you're making it, Nyle - and you know I can't stop worrying, it's the only thing I can do," he reminded with a soft snort.

"Look, I... want to see you, or at least know when I can see you next. I don't want to just sit here in the dark waiting for you, I want to see you and you know that I would come with you if I could," he urged quietly.
 
"They're going to have to leave eventually, Leo. If not, I'll drive 'em out myself. Somehow," he grinned, his own eyes locked on the other's work, not able to hold back how genuinely amazing he found it - at least compared to his piss poor attempts. Wriggling his fingers quietly, just to make sure he still could, he nodded his approval once his arm was reattached.

"Nah, this is great, Leo, thanks," he beamed, adjusting his hood. He didn't need to around Leo, knowing that he could be himself without worry of covering himself up, but the presence of the human couple just a few feet away inside the house was too much of a risk. "And... when they leave, it'll be back to normal around here, promise. Maybe... Maybe I can tell Gigi about you so she can come over for dinner with her family? I wanna repay the kindness she's shown to me."
 
"That would be lovely," he admitted, proud of his handiwork. After years of perfecting it with his own wounds, he prided himself in being a natural. "Do you want me to stitch close the bullet hole, too? It'll at least look a bit more natural - you too, Oliver," he urged.

"So can we plan on you stopping by on Friday?" He suggested,a small smile on his lips. "That would be nice, to plan it out and whatnot. I could... talk to those couple if it means they'll Let you come over, right?"
 
"Ah yeah, go for it. I'm not good at, like, blending the makeup in. It looks kinda obvious," he shrugged as he carefully lowered his hood to expose the poorly covered bullet wound. It also exposed the fact the flesh from half of his neck was missing, which he already knew wouldn't be a particularly pleasant sight. Even Oliver, who wasn't that happy with Nyle at the moment, found himself grimacing at the state his supposed best friend was in, the concern on his face overriding the scowl that had been fixed there until now.

"It isn't that bad," he quickly promised in answer to the looks of concern, grinning quickly as though that would convince them. "I mean, it... doesn't hurt. And hey, considering I... I was dead, this really isn't that bad. A little rotting on the neck isn't... terrible."
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top