How to be a good ally?

[MiharuAya]

How do you support those within the LGBTQ+? What tips would you give someone to be a better ally? What can we as a community do better?

 

[Diana]

My biggest tip that I've learned, is that when someone tells you about their shitty horrible experiences DO NOT tell them "well it used to be worse, be grateful for what you have now." LET THEM be pissed off about their bad experiences, because we should always be striving to do better. Not just accepting good enough.

 

[RiverNotch]

Discover that you're actually queer /jk

 

[Nemopedia]

This applies for both the LGBTQ+ as well as the discussions about racism, but. Listen. Listen. Listen. Don't talk like you are an authority or understand them to a T, because it is alright not to, it is alright to just take in their stories and frustrations and have no response for them, because the time for a response for THAT has already passed. Similar experiences exist, but you aren't the authority over THEIR experience.

And be curious. Ask questions, don't make assumptions. Again, what goes for you, or for one doesn't for the other. And understand that in the end a label doesn't explain everything and isn't the end of the definition. Be willing to be a little discomforted by the thought that the world doesn't work by the rules which you work.

 

[PavellumPendulum]

Do not out people!

I know people that really try to be as supportive as possible and of course the sentiment is appreciated, but never talk to ANYONE about a friend or acquaintance's sexuality, gender identity/pronouns or even chosen name if they have not given you permission or if that person does not already know. I've seen people out others without their consent by correcting others on pronouns and stuff, but unless the person is OUT and has given you permission, it is not always safe to do. At worst, you are putting that person in danger and at the very least, you are potentially shifting the opinions of others around them by sharing information that they were not comfortable sharing yet (and they could've had a reason for not sharing yet!)

Yes, respecting pronouns and names are very important, but remember that that is not your information to share :D