"The Doctor is little more than an acquaintance to me, and I would rather lie to protect my friends than tell a truth that could hurt them…"
Luer laughs. It is a small stifled laugh, but Morgan feels that he laughs at her nonetheless.How could anyone, a friend least of all, laugh at her right now?
Fear fades to Hurt on Morgans' face. She avoids looking in Luer's direction while Brigid manages to ease tensions, and The Doctor gets them all going. Her mind is awash in questioning how that was the least bit humorous to Luer, how a lie was supposed to protect a friend. If Luer considers her a friend at all and if he had only lied to protect Ryan.
He moved back over to Morgan, undid his own cloak and draped it over her shoulders. "Here, it's bigger than what you have at the moment. Might preserve your modesty a little better on the way over too."
Reaching out a hand to help her up and support her movements, he spoke again with a somewhat cheery tone, "Come on, let's get you back to the TARDIS. Doctor's orders!"
Morgan breaks out of her spiraling thoughts by Robin putting his cloak over her shoulders. She utters a "Thank you" and takes the hand he offers. As they walk, Morgan stays behind Luer and Ryan but does not look at them. Instead she decides to say to Robin. "I am sorry I do not know you better. There are just so many of us." She gives him a small smile "I hope to know you better soon." And she meant this, as she feels depending on when she gets to talk to Luer next he will no longer be a friend worth keeping.
When they get to the TARDIS, Morgan takes off Robins cloak and gives it to the man with another "Thank you." that was more nervous than the first as she is exposed more for the brief time she is outside the TARDIS.
Within the TARDIS, Morgan walks fast through the console room, down the stairs and into the first door she sees. It does not go to the wardrobe room as she had hoped but a 'blank' room that was all white and glows with an ethereal light. It is quiet, serene. Morgan could have turned right around immediately; but the serenity disarms her. The Daemon falls to her knees again, and lets the terror that has been dammed up within her out. The terror she had of feeling herself fall as her vessel burned and her grip on this plane of existence nearly gave way with it's destruction.
The quiet serenity is broken by her weeping. She weeps deep, yet dry as her body does not produce tears even for the most anguished cries that do not leave the room.
She weeps until the terror has, mostly, left her being.
Collaboration Post with LenxKaitoYaoi and Valkan
Luer sighed heavily, taking a seat and just seemingly deflating in it. He was exhausted. Between the mission in general so far, Ryan's outburst, the tension between him and the Doctor and the discussion with Ryan to try to help him… the emotional wave ride he had been on today, he was ready to drop. Ryan was alright for now, the Doctor was dealing with the others and the mess still outside… he had one last thing he had to do before he could collapse though, now that he had calmed down.
So after a moment he pushed himself up and sought out Morgan. They needed to talk. Morgan was not particularly a close friend, but she was one of the few among the group he did trust… one of the few that trusted him, and he betrayed it. He owed her an apology if nothing else, even though he still stood by what he tried to do. He only lied when he felt it was necessary… he felt that was such an occasion. But he was not about to dwell on that until he spoke with her.
When he caught sight of her, still wrapped up in his jacket for now- at least he did manage to help her with that -he took another deep breath.
"Morgan… Can we talk?"
Morgan was on her way to find clothing in the wardrobe room, when she hears Luer and slowly stops walking. She looks at him with a leer and frown.
"You want your jacket back? I will give it back when I find something else to wear"
Luer flinched slightly. He knew she would be upset. He shook his head though. "Ah, no… I just… wanted to talk… about what happened…" He stated lightly. Though now he was unsure if she would even be willing to talk about it. "I-I can wait until after you are dressed though, if you would rather…" He added. He supposed she might want to get actual clothes on before trying to do much of anything else too.
Morgan huffs and takes a breath.
"Come, we can talk while I dress." She keeps walking and in the first few minutes does not talk to Luer, but when they get to the wardrobe room, she turns around and takes off his jacket to hand it back to him.
"Thank you for the jacket. But know what you did, was still wrong."
Luer nodded, following in silence then. Once they got there and she took the jacket off to hand to him he nodded, though he did keep his gaze from wandering anywhere below her eyes for the moment. His brows creased at what she said. He had to mind his words carefully.
"…How?" He finally asked, taking a deep breath and turning to give her the privacy to dress. "Please do not misunderstand, I am not mad at you, or anything of the like. But I… I do not understand how what I did was wrong. So please… help me understand that." That was what he wanted first. He did not think he did anything wrong… He was trying to protect them from this situation.
Morgan's mouth is slightly agape at him saying he needs it explained. She turns to look through the clothing, putting on underwear first.
"Ryan turns into a wild animal, and he almost sends me back to Tartarus. You lie in front of me, as if it did not happen. " She feels her voice rising as she goes and pauses, pulls up a pair of jean shorts before moving on to look for fitting shirts.
"As if my pain, my fear, did not matter. Only you and him being together mattered, no matter if he could still be dangerous. That is what is wrong about you lying just then."
Luer's brow creased again. That was how it felt to her? He shook his head. That was not it. "I did not mean it like that… yes, I was worried about the repercussions on Ryan for what he did, but I was also worried about the trouble you would get in." He started.
"Do not misunderstand my words when I say this; you provoked him when you punched him. I… I do understand why you did it, but since he and Dusk were already on the line for killing that Knight, I feared Ryan would get it even worse… and you would be on the line too for setting him off at all…" He hardly blamed her for fighting back in self defense. He was not even truly blaming her for setting Ryan off- she was not at fault for that. If anything… that he gave in to the urge to kill Lautrec was the underlying cause of it all.
He shook his head lightly. "I do not trust the Doctor… not what when I have seen as much as I already have in regards to what he can do… it scared me to think of what might happen to you two… so I felt it might have been better if he did not know…"
"Provoked him? Punish me? What is...how.." Morgan stops browsing to scratch her head with both hands, narrow her eyes in concentration but shakes her head and huffs "What have any of the Doctors done that you think so badly of them? They welcome us into their home, allow us their food, clothes "she waves over her half-dressed self. "And...and why would I be punished after you all saw me after he brutalized me? And more. " She points a finger at him and huffs hard "You assumed I would go with your lie. That I would be willing to deceive a good host and a good man and woman.. whatever you call them."
"They have been our gracious hosts, and I have tried to be your friend. But that means nothing to you? Do you not have concepts of hospitality? Of loyalty to friends?" Morgan shakes her head slowly and turns her back on him to resume browsing "You are an ungrateful guest, and a worse friend."
Luer shook his head lightly. How could he explain it? He could barely make sense of either of the Doctors' abilities. No one had this much power… some of the things they have done so far were not only inhuman, they were beyond comprehension. "It is not what they have done, but what they have yet to show us they can do." He answered. The doctors were the most obscure and mysterious of the entire group. Perhaps he was overly cautious of them without warrant, but even being aware of that did not mean he trusted them…
He shook his head again. He was probably the only one that had his reservations, but he was fine with that. He looked to Morgan now when she pointed at him and huffed. "…I suppose a part of me did. I was worried if they knew the truth you would be blamed for Ryan's outburst, and I thought you would have wanted to avoid being blamed for something that was not your fault." He did not blame her, but from one perspective, she started that fight with her punch. He did not want her to get the backlash from that either when he knew it was not true.
He sighed and leaned against the wall. Of course he did, he was a knight loyal to his king, his family and his friends. Why was it she did not see he did it for them?
He shook it off, taking a deep breath and giving Morgan a bow. "I am sorry. I am not going to ask you forgive me for it. Just know I did it trying to protect the people I care most about…" Morgan was his friend, and Ryan… well, they both meant a lot to him. He did not know what to do, and at the time that was all he could think of.
"Lies are not my way." Morgan says without looking at him. She puts on a red shirt. "A good man gave me a good life, and he showed me the virtue of truth. It hurts and it heals, but lies only hurt. " She turns around to him. "I understand you did what you felt was right. Can you understand that I denied your lie because I felt that was right?"
Luer nodded lightly. He did not like to lie either, not unless he felt it necessary. Besides, he was not exactly a good liar. He looked to Morgan at her question though and his brows creased. "Of course…" Though that begged a question then. If they both agree they did what they did because they felt it was right… why did Morgan still seem mad? It was not as though he was trying to lie for a bad reason or for the sake of it. Even if he was wrong, he did try to do it for a good reason.
He opted not to ask though. Instead, he felt like he needed to do something else. "…Are you okay? After all of this, I mean I know you are physically unharmed now but…" Was she not tired at all? Was she still sore maybe? He at least thought it right to ask.
"I never want to see Tartarus ever again." Morgan shivers and closes her eyes. "Ryan could have sent me back there. To be hunted with no sense of day or night, only the terror of being consumed entirely. And none to trust because they also don't want to be eaten by you if they get too trusting." She opens her eyes again and shakes off the fear.
"I am not okay right now. And I may not be okay around Ryan for some time."
Luer offered an apologetic look. He did not entirely understand her fear, what she was talking about was not something he had to face. He nodded though to the last part she said. That, at least, he could understand. "Well… I-If there is ever anything I can do for you, just say so." He offered. That was the most he could do right now, he felt. He would not blame her if she denied him either.
Morgan looks into Luer's eyes and sighs.
"Thank you. But what can you do for me?" She walks to him and puts her hand on his right shoulder.
"Trust more in the truth and our hosts. In my world, a guest with no trust for their host is unworthy to be a guest. Do you understand?"
Luer's brows creased at Morgan's request. That was easier said than done. He had no issues with the truth, save for his own he hides— no one else really needed to know that. But to put his faith in the Doctors… that was harder to do. After some of the things the Doctor has proven he could do, Luer had honestly come to believe they could very well eliminate his, or Ryan's or Morgan's or anyone's very existence in its entirety.
He looked away for a moment. But… Morgan had a point, too. Despite his fear, what he did not know about them, they have not given him a reason to believe they meant any true harm to any of them. Even as pissed off as he was, the Doctor did not argue or protest his involvement with helping Ryan either.
He shut his eyes and sighed softly, returning his gaze to meet his friend's. "I… I will make an effort to."
"Good. " Morgan pulls Luer into a soft hug.
Luer gave a small smile as he returned the hug, though it did not last too long. "I am truly sorry… I know I have been rather difficult to deal with…" He muttered. At the very least though, for now, he could try to relax a little more.
"You have." Morgan pats Luer on the back and puts up one finger. "But as a Yak Daemon once said to me 'You cannot make friends from behind a shield.' something to think about." Morgan smiles and pats her stomach. "Now I must eat! Or else I'll be sleeping for days." She leaves the wardrobe and Luer with several things to ponder.
Some Time Later,
Morgan, in better but not great spirits, enters the TARDIS tea house for a bite to eat. Being on a mission, the tea house is empty of the usual crew who would be enjoying it's bounty.
Morgan procures three mugs of hot chocolate loaded with marshmallows, and a large slab of raw steak. She needed to replenish her energy, but also to get some comfort that food was quick and satisfying to provide.
Ryan, walked around the TARDIS. Pondering on where should he start apologizing. Stumbling upon the tea house, Ryan peeked in. The place was mostly empty, except for one person. None other than Morgan.
Ryan cleared his throat loudly to announce his presence, and slowly made his way towards the daemon. This was excellent, none would be better to be the first to apologize to. And quite an apology he owed...
Morgan was about to have a drink of her first hot chocolate when she sees Ryan come in, and freezes. Nearly spits out her drink. She wasn't expecting him so soon. So direct.
She has that first drink, enjoying the warmth it gives but eyeing Ryan warily.
"I'm not sorry I hit you first." She tells him.
Ryan sighs, and smiles soberly. "No need to be, I earned it" he said as he got an arm's distance from Morgan. He looked at Morgan's hands for a moment. "Are you right or left handed?" Despite the odd question, Ryan appeared completely serious.
"Ummm" Morgan puts down her mug and looks at her hands. "I have both and use both well?" She answers, visibly confused.
Ryan nodded silently, "I figured as much from our... Encounter" he took a deep breath, and unbuttoned his coat and left it on the floor. He then dropped to one knee, lowered his head and placed his hands above it.
In Ryan's hands, materialized one of his swords, ready for Morgan to grab with her right hand. "Do as you will."
"Put that away." Morgan huffs and has a bite of meat she chews hard and fast with her eyes closed. After she swallows, she tells him "I don't want to punish you. I want to know what happened. I'm owed that, for what you did to me in that state." She shakes her head.
"I had only seen someone fight like that, when I had pushed her to it. Made her desperate to hang on to her power over others. She fought like you but I broke her fighting spirit first before she could hurt me that badly."
Ryan chuckled dryly "I figured you'd say as much" but he remained still "I'd still like you to at least keep it, as a sincere sign of apology" he also nodded at her remark "...I will"
Ryan allowed her to finish, not moving from his position. "I used to be like that all the time. I was forced to become a brutal beast. I lived to kill... I wanted to change once I left my first world though. So I buried my anger and desire to destroy deep within. You caught a glimpse of the Beast of Zokk first hand."
Morgan gets up from her seat, mug still in hand, takes the sword he offers as an apology only because it would be rude to refuse, and listens to the explanation she demanded. Her expression softens.
"I knew Daemons like you." She sighs sadly. "There are so many still in that life. Trapped in another prison when they had been offered a better life." She waves the sword at the table.
"Sit, have some chocolate. I shouldn't have it all myself. Maybe it's magic can work a little on you." She sips her mug and resumes her seat, setting the sword against the wall.
Ryan lifts his head with sad expression, once the sword is taken by Morgan. He wasn't proud of his past self, but he had to confront it. So maybe this is a step in the right direction.
Morgan would feel a pleasant weight behind the sword, and a slight tingle on her hand as she moved it around. "Sounds similar to my first world..." Ryan said as he put his coat back on and stood up.
"Thank you." Ryan said as he bowed his head to Morgan. As he was sitting, he noticed the placement of the sword. "Here, keep it here if you're not using it. I don't want the Doctor mad at me for slashing up this pretty room" as he spoke, Ryan materialized a sleek, deep black scabbard that made contrast with the bright red of the blade. He extended his arm with it over to Morgan, and sat down. "Marshmallows, huh... Can't say I have tried this combination..." he said as a small smile slipped through when he felt those pleasing, sweet smells reach him.
Morgan accepts the sword's scabbard, sheathing it and touching the hilt with both hands. She has an inquisitive look to her face at what she feels. It had to be Ryan's energy she feels, since he had conjured or summoned it. She sets it against the wall again and waits for Ryan to have a drink before continuing their conversation.
"This Beast of Zokk. If he were to arise again, how can he be subdued without hurting you?" She asks.
Ryan observes with a bit of joy the curiosity on Morgan's face. He wondered what may have sparked such an expression to appear, as he took the mug and slowly sipped from it. His eyes widened and he froze for a moment. Trying to enjoy the flavor as much as possible, he put it down for now "It's... Very good"
Ryan was about to relax against the chair, when Morgan caught his attention quite suddenly by calling him, or rather, his alter ego of sorts by its name. Ryan couldn't hide his shock, but tried to think of an answer regardless. "Deep down, I am there somewhere. But it's too hard for me to snap out of it without either destroying whatever it wants destroyed, or being incapacitated... I don't know what it likes other than destroying, but maybe it can be reasoned with, using the proper words. As long as you're not its target, that is. It worked in a mercenary group, and it never attacked them, so I'm sure they had a way of avoiding it..."
Morgan nods and thinks as she has another drink.
"A wise man taught me that if there is room for reason, you must explore that room." She says with another nod and another drink.
"I will admit, I still fear you. That is not something I can stop even as I also understand why what happened, happened. But as much as I fear you, I still want to help you. I hope that is not too confusing." Morgan shrugs and shakes her head slowly. "But, I think I am the only one who would be able to subdue you if it happens again and not be gravely injured. Maybe if I try the backstabber hold next time, I could do it." Anticipating Ryan's question, she explains
"The backstabber is the hold I used on the golden warrior. I learned it from a human wrestler named Benicio. It will be very uncomfortable, but this Beast cannot be allowed free again."
"Then I am sorry as well, because if reasoning does not work...then I would have no choice but to hit you as hard as I possibly can, or nearly, to knock you unconscious." Morgan replies, defeated. "Even if it means bearing Luer's hate after. I only hope he can understand that sometimes to help a friend, you cannot avoid hurting them. "
"No need to be sorry. I don't hold back when I'm in that state. Going with anything less may be dangerous" Ryan noticed Morgan's tone, but allowed her to continue "Then he'll hate us both. Because I completely agree with you. But he won't, he's very understanding."
"Now then, about that wise man's words..." Ryan gazed at Morgan "I don't want to hurt you like that again if I can avoid it" he took a sip of chocolate to settle himself slightly "Any ideas?"
Morgan sips quietly as she thinks.
"Well. Firstly, I will never let myself get so angry I hit you like that again. To start." She clears her throat. "What about...hmm..ummm...what did I hear them called before....'safe words'? Yes, safe words to keep this Beast in check when you feel it overcoming you?"
"It's not like you triggered it, it had been building for while by then. It is why I stabbed that bastard without a second thought. But the thought is appreciated" he said calmly. As he allowed Morgan to continue, Ryan went for a sip of chocolate, but upon hearing 'safe words', he almost choked on it.
After struggling with what Morgan surely wasn't implying and chocolate in his lungs, he placed his hands slowly on the table red as a beet from both things. "Sorry, but safe words..." he looked and Morgan for an instant, then looked away. She definitely didn't mean it like that. "Just don't use that expression"
"Why? They're words supposed to mean no violence." Morgan struggles to comprehend his request. "I thought we could come up with safe words or phrases you could hear to put the beast back in it's cage. When he's about to make a very bad mess."
Ryan couldn't help but keep on blushing as Morgan innocently continued talking about safe words. He knew perfectly by now she was being honest. "Morgan? How old are you?" Is all he could think of at the moment. Talking about his problems can wait a bit.
"How old?" Morgan shakes her head "Don't know. Time does not exist in my home dimension. All you see is the same red sky." She gestures at herself. "But my vessel is six years old. Why do you ask?"
Ryan sighed "You sound like you've been through a lot, and yet, you're quite innocent". He then took a sip of chocolate in an attempt to control himself. "It's an erotic term" Ryan said, attempting to be as casual about it as possible, while unable to let go of the blush entirely.
"Erotic?!" Morgan exclaims into her mug which she shakes in her surprised state, splashing some hot chocolate onto the table. Now it was her turn to blush, and stammer.
"N-n-not what I meant at all! I mean not that you are not....um.... attractive? Just um...um.." she quickly cleans up her mess." I didn't know...it was...erotic."
Ryan partially expected the shock, not that it made it any less endearing. Morgan was a mess. Ryan figured that's how he appeared to Luer, which made him let out a brief laugh. "Thank you for the compliment. And don't worry about not knowing, being innocent is not a crime" this whole ordeal had him relax quite a bit. He leaned back on his chair as he took a swig of chocolate.
"Thank you." Morgan calms herself down and has a bite of her steak. "Back to the issue...I wish there were a way to talk to this other part of yourself, safely. If only there were..." Morgan trails off and slaps the table.
"I know! The leader of those refugees! Frost! Despite her name her real power is to enter the minds of others! She could surely help when we get back to the Pathfinder!"
Ryan nodded slowly, admiring how fast Morgan recovered from her stumble. It showed that she has lived plenty, or at least enough. Though based on what she said, it may have not been a pleasant existence. This realization painted sadness on Ryan as he observed Morgan continue to try and give him a hand.
He was so focused on Morgan, that he was startled when she slaps the table. "Wh... Wait, is that so?" he asked almost doubtful. "The Doctor did say that my issue is on my mind, so that would surely help out a lot!" He said, leaning towards excitement.
"Yes! At least, I think so." Morgan offers this last caveat with raised cautious hands. "From what I understand, she could help us talk to this Beast. Then we could maybe negotiate with it." She guzzles down the last of her mug of hot chocolate, and speaks with a 'moustache' of the beverage on her upper lip. "We will seek her out, and ask for her help, when we next come to the Pathfinder. Promise." Morgan holds a fist to her chest and bows her head to Ryan.
"I'll take anything that helps" Ryan quickly intervened when he noticed Morgan's uncertainty. He meditated on her following words, however "We will need to come to an agreement eventually"
Ryan mimics Morgan's gesture of finishing his own mug, only to realize he already did. Ryan nodded in approval of Morgan's promise, and with a smile on his face, he placed his mug on the table and made the same gesture Morgan did "Promise." Ryan looked at Morgan for a few seconds, before opting for the direct approach for his next words "Morgan? Some chocolate is refusing to leave your face" while gesturing to his own upper lip.
"I know." Morgan licks her upper lip clean. "I enjoy doing that with hot chocolate." She shrugs and stands, picking up her raw steak off the plate.
"Until then, I will be cautious around you, but only for this Beast. Should he arise, I will try my best to subdue him. As it is likely I am the only one who can survive and subdue him." She takes up the sword Ryan had given her and walks out of the tea room with a determined stride.